I don't feel wanted, but he assures me that I am?

I've been texting this guy, lets call him Jim, for a good 4 months now. I have friends that know him, and they've all explained to me that he is very shy and quiet. So, after the first few months passed we went out on a date. It was nice, I had a really good time talking to him, and he actually kept the conversation going although he's quiet.
However, on our way back I was driving and a dog walked in front of my car. I have never killed anything larger than my thumb, and I love dogs. It was pitch black outside, and we were alone on a 80km stretch, but I maintained my composure. Jim turned in his seat to look behind us, and all I could say was "I don't want to know. I don't want to know."
He turned back in his seat and told me the dog was walking, "I think you just stunned it." he said.
I just held my face in my hands. "Here, pull over." He said as he motioned to the side of the road.
I did as he said. Then he opened his door. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"No." I said. Then he opened the door wider. "I'm going to check to see if your car is okay. Okay?"
I nodded.
After all of that muddle, I drove him home, and we said our good byes. He didn't try to touch me, which I found odd, but he said "Just text me when you get home so I know you're safe, and don't hit anymore dogs."
We laughed, and went separate ways.
Since then, we've texted everyday. However, due to school, we haven't seen each other. I'm 18, in college, and he's 17 and trying to graduate. He's only seven months younger than me. I come home on weekends, though. I love the space and I have no complaints about his loyalty, or defining "what we are" in regards to us. I suppose you're wondering what my problem is then.
I have a huge problem with him not expressing any sort of physical interest in me. He always texts first and he's protective, but I feel ugly and insecure in not knowing that I'm truly what he wants, not that he's settling. How do I get him to open up to me in the way I need him to?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I doubt your problem is related to the dog incident in any way so that's a plus :P

    To me it seems that if he is shy like you say then he could be waiting for some kind of indication on your part, he might not have any experience with this aspect of relationships and so maybe you might have to guide him.

    I wouldn't worry about your own appeal to him, but keep in mind that not all guys have ulterior motives and know how to take the lead in relationship.

    Off the top of my head I would suggest organizing a time to hang out at either one of your places, get cozy and put on a movie, that'd be plenty of time for you to explicitly show him your interest in a physical relationship. The type of movie doesn't matter, but I think that if you two obtained some kind of closure ALONE, he'd be more open towards you and confident.

    I'd leave any kind of direct confrontation with him out of the picture for now imo, some people just need indication and it looks like you're the one who'll have to take the lead.


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What Girls Said 1

  • That poor dog D':

    Well some guys just aren't the affectionate type. I learned that myself and I also learned you can't change people like that.. they have to be comfortable enough to do it on their own. That's just something you're going to have to accept or find someone who will show you the affection you want. That sounds a bit harsh because he does sound like a good guy from the way you described but it's the truth.