Guy says, he wants to wait on a relationship and see where it goes, what do I do next?

Here's the deal:
I have a long-term guy friend who has been there for me through thick and thin, especially with guys. I have always felt it was an unrequited love situation, where I never wanted more with him. We went out separate ways for a few years, texting here and there but never saw each other. We recently met up again and started spending more time with one another but this time I started having feelings for him. He did share with me some major things going on in his life including having feelings for a completely unavailable woman, all while joking with me about that one time he asked me out and failed miserably and how it changed how he approached women. At that point I knew he wasn't ready but then he kept initiating conversations with me and when we went out it felt like a date. We went with some family members, he spent the whole time with me; offering me food, asking me if I was enjoying myself, and wanted me to let him know when I got home just so he knew I was safe. A few weeks go by of texting and flirting but no inquiry of hanging out again so I just said it straight. I let him know that I have feelings for him and that I wanted to see if we were on the same page because I was asked out by another guy and I don't want to seem like I am toying with anyone's heart. His response, "I have spent some time thinking about this and based on what I told you about all that is going on in my life right now, I don't want to start a relationship that way. I am enjoying every moment I get to spend with you and I would to continue to do so and see where it goes." I said I understood and respect him for using wisdom in this situation. He said he would never want to hurt me and that's the last thing he would want to do... But here I am a few days later, and we haven't spoken at all. His reputation is that "Good Guy" and he has had only one serious relationship in his life so he is definitely not a player by any means. My question is, what next?

Oh, and to give some background on our friendship. He has always told me that I deserve the best guys and that any guy would be lucky to be with me. He always treated me well and never got angry with me when I would push him away as I started to detect that he had feelings for me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Your friend likes being friends with you and does not want a romantic relationship with you. Rejecting someone does not always mean that they do not like you and value you as a person, it also does not mean that they do not want sex with you either.

    in guys heads when you tell a guy that you like him, he does not automatically think "longterm loving Relationship", guys will think "Sex".

    he doesn't want a relationship but he thinks you could possibly be up for some sex with him which is why he wants to "See where it goes" the "it" being the you likeing him.

    Asking someone to be in a relationship really is as straight forward as how kids did it in elementry school. The "Will you be my girlfriend" and "yes" anything other than a yes is a no, the only difference is you actually get to date the person for a while before you two ask eachother to be in a relationship.

    No one says, "See where it goes" and actually means "I dont want a relationship with you now but maybe next year i will". If someone really wanted to make a relationship work, then they would do everything they can to make it work regardless of what they have going on in their life. Where there is a will, there is always a way.

    also you dont want a guy stringing you a long while he is thinking about some other woman and then when he finally realises that she is crap he turns to you becasue you were his second option. No. You want a guy that recognises you are a catch and that you deserve a loving relationship from the start.

    If you also really value his friendship then i would suggest you just treating him like a friend and forgetting the whole relationship thing with him. Meet another guy if you want a relationship.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Keep him as a friend - then find someone that can commit - this guy is a wishy-washy queer - Wake Up!

  • You wait and collect spider webs :) lol try being patient.


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