So now I am 23 and have still never had a kiss. Am I too old yet?

It's getting ridiculous. I was always decent looking, but high functioning autism/aspergers, and being severely mistreated because in the minds of a shocking number of neuro-typicals that is what autistic people deserve for having the audacity to exist while baring that condition, which lead to social anxiety.. those things stunted my development so that I was at a giant road block from my teens into young adulthood.

See so now, I am only just catching up with most of my peers. Right now I am at the confident, out going, actually having a social life and having a mediocre job bit. It's weird, and cool, how much I've changed. I can now talk to girls properly, and I have friends that are girls.. just like I did before I was a teenager. I'm talkative, sociable, chat with people I just met. Pretty cool because I used to be a reclusive mess.

Annnywayyy, all that aside I still feel like I'm never going to even experience something so simple that so many people take for granted such as a kiss. I've danced with hot girls while drunk, but that's about the most of it.

The thing is it has been so delayed by now, has built up so much by now, that I'm kind of scared of it, because.. well for one thing I don't even know how. Like if I were to be in a position where it might actually happen, I'd "choke" I think. I'd panic or become flustered and wouldn't actually do it and then afterwards I would realise that "Ohhh damn, I should've done that". That's a part of my condition - delayed thinking (and sometimes delayed speech). Regularly I find myself realising hours later, or sometimes even days later, what I should have said or done or what someone meant.

Or does it happen subconsciously? Like if I go on a date with a girl, at the end when we're saying goodbye like what instinct takes over and it just happens? Thing is even if your answer is "yes", then I'm thinking that's the answer applying to neuro-typicals but probably is not the answer for my kind.

Ah I forgot something. I meant to ask should I actually tell a girl that I've been on a few dates with? No probably not.. like, if it actually happens it will be awkward and she'll think I'm a novice or something anyway, but maybe I should just say that I haven't done it in a while, with a view to later telling the truth.. ?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not at all, I worked with a 30 year-old virgin who just finally began to come out of his shell and started feeling comfortable dating women.

    Anyway, the first kiss between two people is always strange, even if you've kissed other people a bunch of times, the first kiss with someone new will always be somewhat nerve racking, but as soon as it happens, your bodies will stabilize and sync up and it will feel good and comfortable. And don't be nervous about the build up to the kiss either, your instincts will let you know if she wants it and when she's ready, you just have to keep your thoughts free of over thinking it and allow yourself to catch her vibes (fyi I'm no hippie).

    • The thing is I don't think I have those instincts, on account of how my brain works in a different way to that which is more commonly exhibited. And I don't think I catch vibes... or I mean, I think if a girl is nice to me and smiles at me I always interpret that it means she digs me which in some cases is a misinterpretation. I'm getting better I think though..

    • Show All
    • Well just talking but with a lot of sustained eye contact (although this can be hard too because if she's shy she may have a hard time making eye contact... as long as her attention is being easily caught on other things or people..., trying to get to know more about you and not just blabbing on about herself, and like I said: Blinking excessively and smiling are instinctive primitive forms of flirting

    • Oh right so I all ready do the instinctive primitive flirting then. Well I don't know about blinking, but I smile a lot when interacting with girls I'm sweet on. I gently, subtly, press on my lower lip with my front teeth too. I read in novels sometimes about people doing that in such situations, so I take it I'm not the only one? Don't know why.. just if I think she's really cute, kinda' happens. Also I have this weird thing where, while I struggle to make eye contact with most people generally (because of aspergers), I actually tend to excel at it with a girl I'm sweet on. Maybe because my favourite thing about any girl I've ever mega dug has always been the eyes, so I like looking at her eyes while interacting with her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • no. ask again in 10 years.

  • Normal. There are plenty of people in your situation


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