Best friend's sister situation, what do I do?

So here's my dilemma, friends:
One of my best friends has a younger sister. He told me that she had a crush on me a little over a year ago. At that time I didn't really do anything with that information because I was scared of what it would mean if it went south (I'm SUPER close to the family).
Anyway, as this year has gone on, I've pretty much started to fall in love with her. I think about her all the time, and the time I get to spend with her is my favorite time.
She has a boyfriend now that she started dating in August. She told her brother that she's maybe even a little bored with him.
I was able to spend some time over there this weekend while my friend was home from New York, so it gave me an excuse to see her. On Sunday, she wasn't with her boyfriend, so she went on a long walk with her brother and I, and we all went to a movie. While we had some alone time that day, she was asking about a girl I was kind of seeing (who used to be a friend of hers), and she said that this other girl was only trying to date me because she knew how much M wanted me. She actually told me for the first time that she used to have a crush on me, and still kind of does. Then this morning we were messaging about soul mates, and she tells me she thinks she's met hers in this new boyfriend.
SO... how do I do this? I'm not the a-hole to try and break up a relationship, but I also totally believe I'm falling in love with her. I guess I'm looking for advice from any girls on what you think she's thinking/wanting. I fully know I could marry this girl, and be very happy. I already love her entire family, and know her pretty well. How is this so hard? ;)


Most Helpful Girl

  • the hard bit consists of the fact she's sending mixed messages. she acts a tad jealous of this other girl, she talks about a crush on you, but then totally backs off by saying she found her soulmate.. in her actual boyfriend -.- if she's trying to make you jealous with that, that's pretty childish and lame. plus, who messages her brother's friend (aka possible crush) about 'soulmates', when they're taken? she might be planning her way out from that old relationship, but she probbaly wants to make sure she'll find a substitute first.. not a great deal of maturity, nor a guarantee of loyalty. not a great way of starting a relationship. you need to be sure she's single as you are, before considering the option of dating her. remember she's your best friend's sister, if it goes wrong they'll unleash the family dog. lol.

    • Very true!
      I guess maybe I just need to be up front with her.
      We are really flirty when we do hang out. She'll punch me, find excuses to be next to me, etc. I might take things slow, but I'm not completely oblivious haha.
      Thank you for your advice!

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think that if you have any reason to believe you could be a better man for her, and potentially a better husband for her, than this other guy, you have not a right, but a responsibility to offer yourself to her if you really care about her.

    It might suck for the other guy, but he'll pull himself together and move on. I think you owe it to this girl to tell her you're available to her so that she can make her own decision on who her soul mate is. Otherwise, you'll always regret it and wonder if you made the right choice. Also, you'll have a harder time giving her and her new boyfriend your blessing if you're constantly questioning whether or not things might have worked between you two. Let her decide yes or no and be done with it.

    • Really solid answer as well, thank you. I've never really told her how I feel about her, but she's told me where she's at. I think I just got into my own head about her, and this seems like a viable answer... I just REALLY don't want to fall on my face with her. Most girls I wouldn't really care that much about falling on my face, but not her.

    • Don't sweat it bro! I know how these things go. If she says no, she'll still be flattered and it will make moving on to whatever things look like between you, her, and the other guy that much more natural. On the other hand, if she she says yes it sounds like you have a lot to be gained!

  • She already has a boyfriend but is bored with him and like you and now wants to be with you. How do you know that she might not get bored with you and go to some other guy.

    • Very good point. The only thing I can really say to that is that he's kind of... well... boring haha. They've only been together 3 months. She has a child, and I'm totally in love with that kid too, she's great. I just kind of think that this guy is not for her, and we have a fairly deep relationship already.

    • How in the world can a girl get bored with a guy if she already has a child with him. This could mean that she does not want to get serious. I think you should think carefully. Please do not make any mistakes in this care at least.

    • This guy is not the father of her child. Her daughters father is a real piece of work. If it was the father, I'd definitely not even be thinking of it.