Can girls be involuntarily celibate or single?

I have a rough time dealing with the current narrative of dating:

-"All girls deserve love."
-Males are boys until they have proven themselves men.
-A man is unworthy of love until he has proven himself.
-His girlfriend is gracious enough to stick around. If the guy slacks off, she is justified in kicking him to the curb.

It seems like if a woman is single, it is only because she has chosen to be. Not by lack of attention, and skills aren't even a requirement, but simply by looking at your options and saying "naw, I feel like being single right now. Guys are losers anyway."

Meanwhile, it feels like the norm for a guy is to clamor and compete for whatever attention he can get. We talk about how girls deserve all kinds of compliments, and that men must deliver. But a man receiving a compliment is an undeserved boost to his neanderthal ego.

I mean, in most cases I've ever seen, when a girl and guy break up, he is left single for at least months, or years. While the girl goes through as many as 4 or 5 rebound guys.

To put it another way, it's easier to be single on your own free will when you have a CHOICE whether or not to be single. Most guys don't have options, which is why we may seem a little too eager when a girl is nice to us. We can't pass up an opportunity because we "don't feel ready" or "need time to discover ourselves." We need to show we are available whenever any sign pops up, and women seem to demand this sort of attention, since "real men approach."

So are any girls on here involuntarily celibate or single? Could someone tell me more about the girls side of things? I'm hoping there's actually something that resembles balance in the dating world.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand your frustrations, I do, but it isn't all roses and butterflies on our end, either.

    Guys will say "well, you're not involuntarily single if you've rejected guys!"
    While that's true... if my options are currently
    -Creep who won't stop texting me, says he's in love with me, after knowing me for 2 weeks
    -Guy 2 years younger who has the IQ of a brain damaged pretzel
    -Weird guy who tried to molest me in a movie theatre

    Wow it doesn't feel like much of a choice lmao. It's not like we're saying "let's just stay single because we feel like it" it's more like, no one who we like has asked us out.
    Guys *only* ask out girls they like. They don't *usually* have to deal with the hard part of letting people down and getting all kinds of reactions. (bitch, slut, guilt trips)
    Girls can get asked out by anyone.

    I will admit guys have it harder but don't pretend girls have it so easy, and also, we don't reject guys for fun.

    • also we like guys who don't like us back too. We experience unrequited love and shit. That isn't unique to males AT ALL.

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    • Meh, if any post makes people think, there will be a mix of up and down. Anyway, maybe getting Best Answer will make up for it.

    • awww thanks

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • no that isn't true. there are some women who get no attention from men. they are literally ignored by guys and have no guys who are actively trying to get with them. there are women who haven't had a bf in months or years. you can't assume that every woman has a guy who likes her bc that isn't true. I know a girl who hasn't had a boyfriend in about 4 years and the last time she had sex was 2 years ago. she's not hideous so I don't know what the problem is

  • I'm single, and technically involuntarily. I loathe being single yet I can't find anyone who shares a mutual interest and it's really disheartening. I'm likely going to be one of those grannies with a dozen cats for company

  • Guys act like I have a bunch of contagious diseases and only talk to me for the answers to the homework : I mean, it's not that bad. At my ripe age of 17, I feel I have time to still be a kid before I get shoved into the college life where I will have to grow tf up

  • I'm currently involuntarily single, and I hate it. The only reason I am is because no boy that I like ever seems to like me back, and I worry that they never will.

  • Sometimes no one comes a long and that is okay with me I focus on school right now and if any guy was interested I would probably not reject him. As for the celibate thing, yes, I am saving myself for the one and only guy I marry.


What Guys Said 2

  • I personally know tons of guys who would love to be in a relationship, but just can't. Myself included. But I don't even know any girl that is so desperate, and unfulfilled. I know this one girl, but she's a recluse, and I even asked her out last year, but I couldn't stand her crappy behavior. The only time that a girl is single by choice is when she hasn't found a guy she likes. They don't even understand how you can date someone you don't like that much, just not to be lonely, they lack that ability in their brain. They don't understand that two of my friends got married, not because they were 100% happy with their girlfriends, but because they knew they couldn't get another girl like them (With that being said, one of those girls is fantastic.).

    Guys are not going to stop giving attention to girls. It would be nice if every guy in the world stopped putting all the girls on a pedestal, but if some guys do that, some other guys will just go and pay the same amount of attention to women.
    The only way it can go away, is to remove the women's baby-making role (somehow, this could happen if for example we overcome aging, people wouldn't be in a rush to have kids and a family, or if people could reproduce without a partner, evolutionary speaking, there wouldn't be a need for women would it?). The whole species survival depends on the decision that women make. With that gone, the need for women would decrease. And then they would have to strive for love, just as much as men do. Until then, we're just monkeys made to entertain and take care of women, only as long as they need us. There's nothing we can do but to accept it.

  • Yes because anything is possible, but more men are. Its rare for a woman to be single or sexually inactive involuntarily , but its much more common for guys to be.

    • hi i am here to teach u basic math
      ratio of males to female is generally 1:1
      so, for every female in a relationship there is a male in a relationship
      considering that the # of males and female is equal, just as many males are single, as females.

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    • I said generally. But dude it still stands. Every taken girl = taken guy. If there's a ton of girls with bfs there's tons of guys with gfs. And if there's less men in the world then actually proportion wise,, more guys have gfs :)

    • Every guy isn't taken just like every woman isn't . And like you said most women that are involuntarily single because of they keep running into guys they don't want proves that women overall are only attracted to a select few men in the world

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