If some one is cold and mean when you break it off does that mean they're hurt?

I ended something because I couldn't accept his weird conditions for not being able to commit. he acted really cold, mean, and incredibly just... cruel. he usually makes an effort to come across as a good, kind person. does this mean he was hurt by the break up or he just wanted to end the conversation and didn't really care? I called twice to talk, he picked up right away. he didn't say anything insulting, but he was incredibly cold and what he did say was so uncaring and thoughtless it at one point made me say wow over the phone.

  • yes, he's hurt
    Vote A
  • no, he just wanted to get off the phone
    Vote B
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I was so sad, and there was no consoling me, I was trying to be honest about how I couldn't do this if he wouldn't give me anything and he said was just silent and just said no I won't give you anything, you can interpret all this any way you want, you've made your decision. he said he was frustrated and angry and had to go. I texted him that he has lost me for good and I blocked his number.
I don't never want to talk to him again, but I want him to take this seriously and that's why I acted the way I did, is that ok?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope, he NOT hurt the way you might think - Not the way girls are usually hurt when their guy dumps them out of the blue. His anger is coming from a bruised ego. He's mad because you took power away from him, in his mind, you just called him a dork, a loser, ugly, with a small penis. I think this is the case, reason being, if he really did love you, or at least cared for you a descent amount, he would have cried, and/or argue that you don't really mean that - you're just confused, and/or throw you a million 'Why?'s. (i. e; 'I think we need to go ahead and break up.' - 'What? Nooo. Whhyyyyy? Why? what do you mean? You're dumping me? Why? You know I love you, right? Then why? What did I do? Just tell me what I did wrong. Just give me another chance. Can't I get another chance? Why do you want to leave me? You don't like me anymore? Please, what did I do?' - THAT'S how you'd know he had been genuinely hurt, (Hurt in the traditional break-up sense, I mean).

    So, basically, he's a jerk-off, asshole, scum-bag, douche. He may regret what he said after a few days, and try to apologize to you. Maybe because he realizes he misses you, or he feels bad for what he said on the phone, or he's just afraid to be alone. What ever happens, even if he wants to get back with you, and agrees to a committed relationship, don't do it. He's doesn't deserve you - he's obviously an asshole, and will hurt YOU sooner or later. Don't stress over what happened, its actually a good thing you found out now, before YOU committed to HIM. You just saved yourself a lot of wasted time - maybe even as much as years.

    It's OK, Sweetheart. Move on, and you'll be a happier person for it. Good luck, and God bless. :)

    • well back before in a different fight when I said I would never talk to him again if he left he did plead with me. I don't know why he didn't do that this time, but I do agree, he was an asshole when I broke it off with him and I guess maybe that could be because of a bruised ego, but if it is, for so many years how could he have cared so much for me and supported me when I needed it? I just don't understand, I don't understand any of it.

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    • I was using cruel as kind of a synonym for cold but i guess they don't really mean the same thing at all. I feel he was cruel by being cold, by not talking. we've known each other for so long, he said he "understood" and when I asked him if he had anything else to say he just said "why you've made up your mind" and wouldn't compromise because he can't handle a relationship right now. I got really mad because he was cold and wouldn't talk, was he afraid of showing emotion, of being upset? I don't think he is deep down a cold hard ass hole at all, I know him too well, but maybe he was trying to hurt me back by acting like he didn't care?

    • Sure, that's a definite possibility. But if that is the case, its still a jerk move. Given, he was probably reacting, and not thinking. But still, he should have said sorry when he realized it wasn't right. He was clearly out of line, even if you did exaggerate a little. Ditch him, he'll only act like a jerk later on anyway. You really do deserve better.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He's probably too happy to speak anything... -_- of course he's hurt.

    • even though he wouldn't commit to me? he keeps coming back to me, but won't commit because of how hard apparently his last relationship was and I told him I can't be with some one who is going to intentionally keep me at a distance so they can try not to fall in love with me. none of it made sense, but I blocked him because the same thing happened before and then months later he started calling again apologizing

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    • wait I'm sorry i don't understand your comment? you're saying it's ok that I hurt him?

    • Yep.. That's exactly what i am saying. It was okay to hurt him, it was the right thing to do. You both need to move on, and if it means getting hurt now, then so be it. It will be worth it when you both find people you are comfortable with. Sometimes the harshest way is the correct way.

  • You broke up with him, obviously he's going to be upset and hurt.

    • it was because of his inability to commit, I told him we should both be getting what we want out of the relationship and he straight up told me woudln't

    • I mean give me what I want

What Girls Said 1

  • He was obviously angry and hurt.