The independent woman?

So I made a question earlier on about what guys think about smart girls, and one of my responders said they're nice as long as they don't have that, "I don't need a man" attitude. He basically said that having that attitude takes away from a girls femininity and makes them less nurturing and stuff like that. I for one, do not think you necessarily need a man in your life to survive. I would personally think that if some chick was constantly walking around going, "I need a man, I need a man" that would be a turn off. I am also independent, and headstrong, so that may have something to do with it. Lol. Now of course once I got into a relationship I would need MY man, but I'm not going to center my life around getting a guy. I'm VERY nurturing, caring, loving, gentle, patient, and kind. I am also, due to my life circumstances, strong, and realistic. I know, and had to live through the consequences of someone elses, "I need a man" concept. Do I WANT one? Sure. Am I going to break my neck for one and act like I'm not capable of making it on my own? Nooooo. Soooo guys, tell me what your opinion is.

  • Strong, independent girls? Ugh, Too much. No.
    Vote A
  • Strong, independent girls? Depends on their personality. As long as they're not overbearing.
    Vote B
  • Strong, independent girls? HECK YEAH!
    Vote C
  • Strong, independent girls? Uh, yeah. As long as they're balanced out.
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel the same way you do and have actually learned something as to how the men have been perceiving this statement. When like you I am self reliant I still want a man, but don't "NEED" one... as a woman I always assumed men would understand it in the same way I do as in I don't need one to survive so if I'm interested in you then I'm genuinely interested in YOU not WHAT you can provide because " I don't NEED a man... I must say my eyes have been opened by this post... So wise to be so young in your thinking... just don't wait til your my age to learn how to better express it. As from your post and the men's responses I have been expressing it all wrong !

    • Lol thank-you. Yes, what you put, is exactly what I mean when I say it. So you would think that the man would realize you must REALLY love them, because you're not with then because of what they can provide.

    • I always assumed that is what they would understand as well, but apparently not :(

    • Yeah, apparently not. :\

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If I'm just a thing on the side, I'm not interested. If she has her own career and doesn't live to get a guy, but appreciates my need to provide and protect, it can work.

    • Yes, see, that's what I mean. She stills gets to be a WOMAN, but not so much so that she won't let you do you job as the man.

    • @Asker Sounds like a good balance. I'm a traditional guy, but I recognize sometimes things don't work out and being dependent on one person like that is not a good idea.

    • Yes. That is exactly what happened with me and my family. Parents split and I was one of the kids in the middle suffering the consequence of the female being too dependent.

  • Sure, I get it. You don't NEED music. You don't NEED a car. You don't NEED to consume anything but bread and water. Men and women don't NEED each other, right?

    Why play games? It just makes you sound... unappealing.

    • So you want a woman, to need a man?

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    • When someone feels the need to say they will not die without a man in their life, they are stating the obvious to send a message. I think you probably understand why that would be off putting to most men. If you don't, I don't know how else to help you.

    • Let me help you understand because the confusion is the other way around. Scroll down a bit to wintryamythyst, and see what she wrote, and what I responded.

  • I think your absolutely right


What Girls Said 2

  • i think this whole attacking women bc they want a relationship but can like any human being survive without one is absurd and just speaks off insecurity. men wouldn't walk around saying they need a woman-unless in response to this question just to prove a point against women. theyll say i need sex. specifically so they can hide the fact they want affection and love.

    and then women get accused of being clingy when they do love.

    personally i could never feel; dignified and healthy if i felt like i '
    needed' anyone. friends hfs w/e. dso i want certain people in my life of course. i value them care about them love them.

    choosing to be with someone is a powerful symbol of how much you respect and care for that specific person.

    needing a person any person has nothing to do with them and just with anyone who will have you.

    guys who can't handle a woman choosing him but not needing him are just worried if they are not need they won't be wanted. but truly wanting doesn't come from need but from desire. when you need you dont have time to want. its just a desperation.

    every person is born alone will due along and likely sound more time on this earth alone then not. it is only benefitting to yourself and others that you are independent to the extent a human being can be-after all we are all living in civilized society dependent on socials relations in varying firms and degrees. its how we survived by hewing part of communities. but tiros is not the same as a romanic relationship. nor is a romantic relatiu the same as a hetero relationship.

    a human bering will not survive well without a community but any person can survive perfectly well without a romantic relationship. ... some better without. women live longer than men when they are singled. men die earlier than women when they are single...

    • Recognizing that the relationships you enter into are choice not addiction... that is how truly strong dignified people are. you value a thing not bc you're desperate to have it but bc you find merit in it.

      if you can't have someone bc they want you, but only need someone, then you probably need to work on yourself before being in a relationship, and for someone to need you in that state is dangerous to both of you.

      when you need someone its hard to respect them or yourself. when you choose to love someone it is just the opposite

      accepting and respecting a person can live without you but chooses to stray is important. otherwise lotus of manipulations and abuse can occur.

      thats my opinion. i think attacking people for standing up as their own person is pathetic. and desperate/. and unnecessary if you feel good about yourself in the first place.

      humans need humans. no one needs the opposite sex save for procreation which can be done without a relationship.

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    • no not your fault. i really ought to have specified. very sorry. glad its cleared up. ;-)

    • Lol. It's alright. I'm glad it's cleared up as well. :)

  • Everyone should learn to be independent and not need anyone to survive or be happy.

    But usually the women that say "I don't need a man, fuck that" are either super insecure or snobby.

    • Oh, no. Lol. I don't man it like that. Lol. I'm not that screw love girl. I am definitely a romantic, but, like you said, the opposite sex isn't necessary for you to survive and be happy.

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    • Ahahaha. Thank-you. :) I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from!! Yaaaayyyy!!

    • You're welcome :P