Is it normal to sabotage yourself to the friend zone?

this is what happens to me. a girl will show interest in me. then a girl makes it obvious they like me,

I come along slowly and show a little interest while at same time coming up with reasons why I shouldn't ask them out.

girl either goes in to super obvious mode or starts to slow things down

now I develop feelings and imagine myself dating her while at same time still debating.

girl looses interest little by little, its obvious. but she still may like me,

I decide its now or never and make my move.

I get an ok reaction but its not what I want. I get feeling she dosent like me like that. even though shehas shown 200 signs she was.

I do this a lot. im sabotaging myself. anyone else do something close to this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow!
    It sounds like you are commitment conflicted.
    It's ok, especially if you recognize it in yourself, which I think you do.

    You're going to have to deal with it in your own way.
    You are losing out on a big part of life though by denying yourself some important arts of dating and socializing.

    Go out, overcome your comfort zone a little bit, and give the girls a chance
    We can be fun.
    My guy says I'm a lot of fun.

    • yea I say I am. only time im not is when im drinking and don't think about it or if there is no social connections that could get awkward. like work or school.

    • You know you remind my of lovable Raj on Big Bang Theory.
      He could not ever get up the courage to talk or respond to a female unless he was drinking.
      So funny the way it was portrayed.
      Not funny in real life.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Honestly. Ask her out from the beginning. A girl will have a window where she is crushing on a guy. Usually the first 2-4 Weeks. After that she will lose interest or think: "well he is not interested in me" and cut her losses.
    If you ask her right out from the beginning you a) don't run the risk of being put in the friend zone and b) worse case scenario go on a bad date. So either was its a win-win

  • "Friendzone"... Just... Just stop, mate. Don't.


What Guys Said 1

  • Well if you recognize you do that a lot, you have to flip your script. It will take a lot of will power, but you can do it.