My boyfriends mom being a pain?

My bf and I have been dating almost 4 years now I am 24 and he is 27. The issue I am having is with his mom. She is extremely nagging and she treats him like he is 5 years old. The other day she called up to schedule his dentist appt for him. Like he is 27 I am pretty sure he can schedule his own Dr appts himself. We see her about once a week for dinner and and she will nag at him the whole time to find a better job he is a truck driver and he loves what he does. He wants to move out West but when he was over she was looking at jobs down South for him and I casually asked her if she saw any good jobs out west and she said he can't move out west because there aren't any bodies of water for HER to go to the beach. I was thinking are you kidding me your son is looking to settle down and move in with me you shouldn't need a beach to visit your own son. Not to mention she lives an hour away from the beach. She accused me of using him for rides which I quickly shut her down about that accusation be cause it is the furthest thing from the truth. I approached him before about her over bearing ways and I feel like he goes out of his way to defend her and it pisses me off I feel like he should be backing up the women he is going to spend the rest of his life with. She also is constantly calling him to ask nosy questions. She asked him exactly how much he makes at work. She actually got mad because he listed me as his emergency contact over her which is crazy imo. He is looking to spend the rest of his life with me of course over time I am going to be listed on his emergency contact. I guess my question is will this ever change and how do I approach my guy about all of this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Calm down. That's her son. She has the right to mother him. And sometimes even though the child might be 70 for a mother it still is the same son she carried and nursed. So let her have her right. Yes she is a little overbearing just ignore it and respect her. And yes she threw a tantrum over the fact he listed you as an emergency contact. But that's her son so she might be feeling a little insecure. Talk to her

    • Yes she has a right to mother him but he is 27 years old not 7 calling up his doctors offices for him scheduling his appts is not mothering him it is being overbearing. Then calling him after he has a teeth cleaning to see how it went like it was a routine check up not an emergency visit. She is almost unhealthy and you would see that if you carefully read my post. She needs to calm down not me. Part of being a parent is letting your kid grow up and start their own life she lives with her bf and she has two other sons she isn't exactly alone. Like after almost 4 years it is crazy to me that she would be upset that he listed me as emergency contact. She calls him every single day to nag him. I didn't ask to be criticized on my feelings I asked for advice

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Does he know about that and how you feel? If not, you should tell him


What Girls Said 2

  • You need to talk to your boyfriend. I can see how aggravating that is. Is he an only child? Is she widowed/separated? She sounds terrified to be alone, and I'm curious as to why. Maybe she has no one left if he moves. You definitely have every right to be annoyed by this. Tell your boyfriend that you don't know if you can deal with her much longer, say you love him, and that his mom is a nice lady, but you don't want to deal with the cliché 'mother in law' problems for the rest of your life. Because if you two decide to get married it'll only get worse.

    • He has twonypunger brothers one is almost 26 and the other is 21. She lives with her boyfriend.

    • Two younger*

    • She might just be over protective of him then. Either way definitely talk to him and let him know he needs to stand up for you, and for himself. You've done nothing wrong, she's just trying to create problems.

  • It's what moms do. If he didn't like it, it wouldn't be happening. You can't go speak to him about his mom loving too much or doing too much, because sometimes, if it comes down to it, those guys will choose mom/sister/cousin over girlfriend.

    • If they first start dating I can understand that but after 4 years I think generally most people will stand by the one they choose to spend the rest of their life with and if they aren't willing to do that after that point when will they? I am not asking him to choose I would never ask him to choose between me and his mother that's crazy I'm just annoyed that she is overbearing. No I think most guys stand by the one they are going to marry.

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    • I very nicely offered to call the dentist for him but his. mom is like no I got it. We don't live together yet because I still have student loans to pay off as soon as we move in together I will cook for him myself. Yes I'm very happy that they are close.

    • Don't offer it, just do it before she does it. I know it sounds bad, but replace her with you lol.

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