Are we going to get back together?

So, this is a long story. I met a girl, and we clicked really well. We were dating for a while, but a lot went down in her life suddenly. She said she needed time and space for herself, so we separated and lost contact. It was a pretty bad break-up, as it was done through text. Anyway, months pass, and I eventually text her. She responds, and we are talking a bit. I tell her that I miss her, and she said she misses me too. I said that I wish we could get back together, and listed all of the stuff we were planning to do together. She said she would *LOVE* x 1000000 to do that stuff with me, but not as a couple. She said that she has been having a ton of fun with her friends the last month or so, and she said that she thinks having a boyfriend would inhibit that. I told her that she could do what she wanted to, as long as she didn't cheat. And that we'd just be a couple in a relationship, which wouldn't inhibit her at all. I'm not clingy, and I need space to be with my friends as well. But when we are together, we can be a couple. Here was her reply: "How about I think about it? I don't want to just jump into this. I can't". I said "Absolutely! Take your time. I'm not here to force you to do anything. But I know that this would be a positive thing for both of us.". What are your thoughts so far? I think I'm being reasonable and respectful. It looks like she wants to be with me, but she is hesitant to enter a relationship. I seem to think her ex was controlling, based on this.

Thanks in advance!


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  • I think she gave you her answer. I see where you are coming from but you are giving her all the power. If a girl wants to be with you then she won't say no. I get wanting to give things another try and don't fault you for that. But when you try to change her mind you come across as weak which is unattractive. You might have had some chance by telling her how things are. By saying "I know your last relationship was shit but hoped you find something different with me. I would like to do those things but once we crossed that line I can't go back." But it's still unlikely, once a girl says no her opinion probably won't change.