You ever date someone where it feels like you're interviewing them instead of having a conversation?

You ever date or try to date someone who is so quiet that they aren't talking unless you are?

Without being judgmental towards these people, I really hate being in these situations. For example, there's a girl off pof I'm talking to right now who added me to her favorites and she agreed to a date but cannot carry a conversation to save her life. Only thing she's ever said to initiate conversation was hi or hey. Even when I ask her questions, she gives generic one word answers and is still quiet until I start talking.

I've been in these situations before but I feel like it puts pressure on me to constantly ask questions otherwise it'll be quiet. I feel like I'm trying too hard and the conversation feels forced.

How do you handle this? Should I ask why they don't speak much without offending them?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah I've been there, and it usually means that you have nothing in common, or they're only into you for superficial reasons. Where there's true chemistry, when you make a real connection, the conversation will feel natural, and flow with little effort. I always find it best to connect over a common interest.

    • Yeah I definitely think it shows how incompatible you are, especially if you can't even hold a basic conversation. Said girl in the question would initiate by saying hi or hey you and even when I'd say hey what's up or how's it going, she still wouldn't respond or give a generic answer.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I've never been the interviewer in a relationship, but I have to people I'm trying I get to know. I always try to make new friends every year at college when I start a new class, and some people are just boring. I don't think they mean to be, I just think happen to be boring. That's okay but I try to avoid them and try to find more interesting people.
    But I had a boyfriend who was super possessive, and anytime I went anywhere or hung out with anyone it turned Ito a game if twenty questions. And that was not fun, so I dumped him

    • Yeah being super possessive has nothing to do with being talkative/quiet. There's plenty of people who are talkative and aren't super possessive. But I know how you feel. I was going on a date with this girl in college who seeked me out and when we hung out in her dorm before we went out, my friend texted me and she hovered over my phone to see if I had a gf that was texting me. I knew it wasn't gonna work out after that.

  • I had one of these and they are painfully annoying, I agree. I just told him, I just laid down the law and it worked! Hope that helped!!

    • Yeah it is painfully annoying. It's almost like they think you're boring if you don't always have something to say when they're actually the boring ones if that makes any sense. I didn't get to ask her that because I texted her once yesterday and a few days earlier and got no response. I don't think it was gonna work out because if she couldn't hold a conversation on the phone then I don't think it'd be any better in person.

What Guys Said 1

  • You make your life easy. Reject them and move on. If you need, come up with an excuse to end the date early and be done with it.

    • Yeah, but what if you're not having much luck with others?

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