Should I accept that the guy I like isn't ready for a physical relationship, even though I am?

He's never really been a physical person, but he's ok with hugging and cuddling and everything else, so do I accept that this is just who he is, be patient and make a compromise, or do I discuss it with him and see if we can come to a compromise together?

  • Talk to him about it and see if he's willing to compromise
    Vote A
  • Be patient and wait until he's ready to make a move
    Vote B
  • Confront him about it and give him an ultimatum
    Vote C
  • Leave him, because a relationship that's purely intellectual, with a bit of cuddles isn't enough
    Vote D
  • Make a move and see what his reaction is
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Guy

  • How old is he?

    Are you a couple, or just considering it?

    How do you know he 'isn't ready'? What does 'isn't ready' mean, exactly?

    • He's 18 like me, and we're considering it, but he's never had a relationship before, and he's been brought up purely Christian, as have I, but he believes in traditional relationships, meaning we shouldn't do anything until the wedding day, if we end up marrying one another, and he doesn't feel ready, yet, to kiss, at all, because the entire relationship thing is completely new to him, so kissing is a quite a big step, for him.

    • Show All
    • Quite serious, I mean he's a great guy, hilarious and attractive, but I want the romance and the passion, and he just doesn't have the kind of passion I want... he's a secular Christian, as am I, but I've had physical relationships before and he hasn't, that's the difference. And I highly doubt he would decide that, he's never even kissed anyone before

    • If he's much less passionate than you, its not simply a matter of waiting... because even if you married you'd be miserable.

      To me, if someone's waiting, they better be finding waiting HARD. If waiting is easy, there's no way we're compatible.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • its about communication. so talking to him and finding out his feelings and what his sexual expectations are. then tell him what your expectations are and go from there. if you like him you'll most likely have to work on sort of deciding whether or not you are willing to wait until he is ready

    • I think you're right, thank you. I think I just need to spend more time with him, see what he thinks out relationship is going to be like and if that meets my expectations. but if he's my ready, then should I wait? how long is too long to wait for something that might not be there at all? I could be missing out on an awesome intellectual, physical and emotional relationship with someone more passionate, but then I'd lose him, and he's such a fantastic guy...

    • if he's not ready should you wait? if you like him and think the relationship has potential I would suggest waiting. but it think it's fair to ask him and discuss what he's waiting for and when he might be ready

      is the issue that he's not passionate? or is that he chooses to wait on sexual intimacy until a certain point

  • well what do you want more? him and his affection? or his penis inside you?

  • If you talk to him about it you might not get a clear answer, or even the true answer. Make a move and feel it out. Start making out and rub on his manhood a bit. Keep in mind that he may be sexually inexperienced and won't know what to do. The BEST way to judge what he ultimately wants is to go off the kissing.

  • This guy sounds like me before my my last and only relationship.


What Girls Said 1

  • I would say it depends on how long you two have been in a relationship. If it's been 5 months and he wants nothing sexual to do with you and you want sex from him then it's most likely not going to work out. He won't change his mind if he's choosing to wait for religious reasons and I doubt you're going to deny your sexual desires forever. That's not healthy, sorry. You can try and ask him if he'll ever be sexual with you and if he gives you an answer and you really, deep down, do not want to wait that long then there is no point in your relationship.

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