When do you give up pursuing a girl you've fallen for?

I know this girl at work - we have ridiculous fun and chemistry. Seems like the perfect match, we think the same - she lights up when she interacts with me and vice versa.

I've told her I'm into her and she is sticking with her long term boyfriend. It feels like there is something real between us, but she won't allow it to happen because she feels obligated to him?

She's told me we obviously have chemistry, and its just a "timing issue".

What are your thoughts?

Does this make sense to anyone out there? Advice? Strategy?

Should I just keep being her friend and try to forget about how I feel?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's what I think, and hopefully this can help a little... So she said that she feels generally the same way about you, but that it's just a "timing issue"? Here's my guess: even though she likes you, she's afraid to make that leap of breaking up with her long term boyfriend. It's a big risk. What if she broke up with him for you, and then you guys ended up not working out? That's probably a lot of what she's wrestling with. As for your part, I personally wouldn't wait around for her. Obviously she isn't ready to take that leap for you. If she isn't prepared to do that, then don't waste your time. You want to be with someone who will say to you (with their actions most importantly) "I WANT to be with you. I am going to be with you. I am not going to let _______ get in the way." I know that probably isn't the answer you wanted to hear... I hope I helped, though. Hang in there.

    • No that's exactly the answer that I needed to hear. We had a talk Friday , and clarified a lot of things. She really opened up to me, and it was great. During that convo she said to me "this is what I need right now" -- talking about her existing relationship.

      So I feel like, she's in a place where this guy is what she needs but she can see that there is something incredible between us and isnt' ready to take that leap.

      I agree with you completely. When I told her I was going on a date that night, and trying to move past all this "fire" that I had for her - I could tell she didn't like that at all. I know there is something there, and I'm pretty sure that we're on a course towards one another.

      She just isn't ready yet - so I am hopeful for the future. In the meantime I'll probably go out on a few dates and just try to take my mind off of her. Thank you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Stick to her if you want but don't waste too much time with her since she doesn't seem to make a step further with you. Besides if you distance a bit from her you will see if she's really into you.