Is there a better way to word this?

I have recently reconnected with an ex and am pretty sure he would like to date again. I would be OK with that, but I really want him to get his life together first. He had been unemployed for a while and lost a lot. I get that and understand. But I also don't want to be stuck a year down the road with a man that is in his 30's without a car still, and living paycheck to paycheck with a minimum wage job. I'm not meaning it in a snooty way, I just don't want to fall in love with a man I will be driving everywhere/supporting. So since I want to be as nice as possible when wording it is there a nice way to do it without making him sound like a loser, even though I don't think he is, I just want him to be making an effort you know.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You want a sugarcoat essentially. Tell him that he's a great guy, but he needs to take care of himself before he can be with other people. Insist that he strive to always find a way to better himself. What we do in the Air Force is this. Start off positively, get into what needs to be done/corrected, then build them back up and motivate.

    • That sounds good too. I am so happy you understood what I meant. I was scared I would sound like a bitch when I was writing it.

    • You like to help people, I'm the same way. :)

  • Tell him you want some stability/security when it comes to lifestyle. It's not about money (even though it is lol) it's about laying some foundations for the future.

    • See that makes it sound so much better. And that's exactly what I want. I don't wanna be stuck trying to have a kid with someone that can barely take care of themselves.

    • I realized all this recently, I've had fun but it's time to grow up. In a way I'm making preparations in case I meet someone. At this stage in life I don't want her to think I'm a loser lol. If I don't meet somebody then I'll reap the benefits for me anyway!

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