Why do I freak out after sleeping with someone I like?

There's this guy who really likes me, and i know cause he told me and I spent the night at his place, where he cooked me dinner. We ended up having sex. but not finishing because someone came over.

Anyways, I'm kinda worried now cause he isn't really texting me. I know it sounds overdramatic but i'm kind of freaked out that he may have lost feelings for me or whatever. We spent the whole night cuddling and talking, but something inside me is scared that he realized how boring I am, or the fact that I don't date (I told him I have a huge guard up). I'm worried that he's more of the relationship type, and me telling him that may have made him decide to move on. I don't know I know I'm over thinking but is this normal?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Because women are crazy.

    You probably feel this way because there are so many stories of guys 'wam bam thank you mam'ing' women. Or, it's actually happened to you before, so your brain is telling you, "Dude. Remember what happened last time?"

    Although, due to you talking about how 'boring' you are, it could be a self-esteem issue either mutually exclusive to the aforementioned or connected with the aforementioned.

    It doesn't sound so abnormal to me. Though, sure, if he is a relationship type, you may have something to be worried about--which makes these thoughts all the more normal. attempting to predict potential outcomes is something the human brain loves to do. It sounds like a natural worry.

    If you really like the guy, perhaps you should tell him that you'll stick around with him for awhile, closer than friends, but just not calling it 'dating'. Eventually, perhaps you'll be able to overcome this fear of dating--or, being broken up with.

    • I definitely do have some self esteem issues that make it hard for me to get intimately close with someone. Maybe I shouldn't assume he sees me negatively, I should just keep in mind that he had a great time and maybe even likes me more than he did before (so that I don't freak out).

      And very true, he makes it almost seem like I should find a label for what we are or where we are going. This conversation has to happen at some point, and I'll wait to have it when we hang out again, if he wants to, that is. :/

    • Exactly. I, myself, have had issues with thinking I know what people are thinking about me. It's really driven me crazy: and, it's served as a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy: by thinking people hate me, I get angry, then they really do hate me.

      Well, I'm not saying try to think positively. I think you should be honest with yourself, but that you should try to keep away from either extreme. Just try to be neutral about it until it's obvious one way or another. Or yeah, actively have the conversation--but keeping in mind that deeds will betray a lie. Then you'll know, and you won't have to struggle between thinking negatively or positively. It just has to play out.

      Don't put all your money in one spot, or your bound for disappointment. Hedge the bets carefully and see what happens. Then you can invest more. in my opinion.

      I'd also recommend looking into those S-E issues. Perhaps with a good therapist. Just saying: it can help with the right one.

    • Basically, don't assume one way or another, or you'll make an ASS out of U and ME, as they say.

      Good luck, mate.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Is it normal to overthink? Probably.

    • Have you ever changed your mind about a girl over night?

    • Yeah.

What Girls Said 2

  • ya it is normal cos u just had sex with him!! u r bound to have such feelings. I think you should text him and and try to ask him about that night.. you'll eventually know it if he's really into u or if it was just a one night fling. I think if u have feelings for him you should tell him that u do have ur guards around u but u let them down if ur in love with someone.. talk to him and i think ul know what to do..

  • do you think it's because you're scared of rejection and being really close to someone in case they hurt you? because I feel like this too. but I am realising that i'll never let myself happy if I don't just go for things and see how they work out. I would rather have a little heart break than never any reciprocated romantic feelings.
    Why don't you just go for it and text him. Maybe he does want to date you and doesn't want to get hurt either. he might be confused why you wouldn't want to date him ad be putting up a guard also now that you've told him that

    • Yeah, you're right. getting close to someone can be a scary thing, but sometimes its worth risking. I think I should tell him that I would give him a chance if it ever led to that. But when should I tell him? I don't wanna be all awkward and text him but maybe I should wait until I see him again to mention that.

    • i think you should sort of text him casually but making it known you do want to see him in person and then bring it up then yeah.
      I saw on the guy's answer you were saying about self esteem issues and I think I have all the same issues as you. Now this guy who is really attractive and seems really genuine is trying to date me and I'm freaking out because I doubt he could ever like me. But I'm going to force myself to go for it, because I'll never see how things could go otherwise. What's the worst that could happen?
      But I just wanted to let you know you are definitely not the only one that feels like you do.