Is she worth it? I need to know ?

There was this gal I was talking to who I was really into. We were set up by a friend and we became very close very fast, something which doesn't usually happen for me. We had differances, but we both enjoyed them. Our conversations were via text though, yet we had planned a meeting. It was something I had been looking forward to greatly, I'd even cashed in my childhood savings so that I could make sure she saw her favorite area of the place we were going.
I was there for her as she was depressed as she broke down and just always trying to help. One day we got to talking that she was being placed into shitty positions by someone who she was too forgiving to cut off. I talked her through it, and she told me I was the only one who talked to her about things that made her happy, and said my words brought her to tears.
Then two days later, I asked her when we were going, and she never answered me. I heard from our mutual friend (who heard from another friend. That she went back with her ex. He was the negative influence. This is an ex that had cheated on her in the past and mistreated her. Who she got back with because he threatened to have her jumped and that he would commit suicide.
I've talked to her a bit since but we haven't brought up what she did to me. I just sent her a message today (about a month after the silence) taking about how that felt and how I hope her the best, cuz I mean, I do.
Right now this guy is fanning the fires keeping her detached from her family and friends, and it hurts that this is being done to her.
Meanwhile me? That money I saved up? I've been using it to buy weed so that I can have some easy nights. And I wasn't a smoker till this happened and it feels so horribly shitty that I'm burning the money I had to spend with this girl to cope with her absence.
Please, what are your thoughts? I still like her, but what do I do? How am I to believe the sweet things she said to me when I was left in silence? I still want to help her :/

If there's any girls that can give some insight, it'd be truly appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This sounds really complicated, I think she probably still likes you and she may just be with him cause he threatened to commit suicide if she didn't. But you said your answer yourself. You WANT to be with her and help her through this and so if thats what you want to do then do it! I think if she starts talking to you again ( keep in mind he's probably not letting her talk to you) then she'll really appreciate you once this is all over

    • Yeah, I have considered that as a possibility. I guess I'm just letting insecurities seep in and bum me out too much. But you're right. Future relationship or not it's a friend in need of help, and I gotta be strong enough myself to help them :) lol it just sucks in the mean time. But I'm not going to burn that money anymore, especially on THAT. Thanks, just needed a different perspective, and it really helped.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Message me. This is gonna be a while and its gonna be tough


What Guys Said 1

  • Stay with her, if you do this now you score MAJOR points and it shows you are also a very true friend for her. If someone forces another to be in a relationship with them it'll break up very soon.. He knows it's fake and that she's only with him because he threatens to kill himself. This will not satisfy him because the love isn't real.. sooner or later he'll get it and then you can try again.

    • You're right. I know this at an internal level. It just hurts so damn much. I've been trying hard to better myself for when i get another chance, but the whole things mentally exhausting. But I do care about her as a friend, so I shouldn't be another friend this dude is pushing out of her life.

    • Well you don't need to worry about a thing though, you can just stay with her during this time as a friend. And maybe later you can be more, ofcourse it's exhausting but it also is for her. I can imagine her going through living hell right now, but she also doesn't want any blood on her hands (even though I personally don't see her responsible for his death even if she refused but I can still understand that she didn't).