Input/advice on what I should do about my seemingly downward spiraling relationship (it's a long story, I apologize!) I'm just so confused anymore?

I met this guy back in March after getting out of a 2 year long relationship (yes he was a rebound). I was lonely and heartbroken. He had it all. Money, a nice car. Gave me the attention I so desperately was seeking. We started dating about a month after knowing each other. A month later we discovered I was pregnant. [btw I'm 17, he's 18]. But it wasn't a big deal because we were so in love right? Now I realize I couldn't have been so wrong about someone. Things were going good until I moved in with him. Then he started being so mean to me. He became physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. Constantly told me how ugly and fat I was. How I wasn't good enough for him. I felt trapped. In June I discovered he cheated on me with two different girls. I was devastated but forgave him because I was so "in love" and only wanted him. He went to jail in July for a month and I stayed with him through it all. He promised that when he got out he was going to change and things were going to be different. Wrong again. Things were good for about a month. Then at the end of October I found out he cheated on me with 3 more girls in just a 3 week time period. I'm so emotionally numb. I feel like I'm holding onto nothing but yet I'm still trying to make this work and stay with him; more so for the sake of our daughter who'll be here any week now. The worst part is he still hasn't apologized and still treats me like shit. I just don't feel like I'm enough or good enough for him. He constantly is talking to other girls, looking at other girls, commenting on other girls comparing me to other girls. He makes me feel so worthless. We go back and forth everyday. He wants me when I don't want him and I want him when he doesn't want me. There's just so much pointless arguing. I let him walk all over me just so he doesn't leave. Is there hope for this relationship? Could there ever be? Could someone like him ever change their ways?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Damn, that's a tough one.

    I don't think things will get better over time: in fact they are likely to get worse once the baby is born. Keep in mind that babies are usually loud and it's going to irritate him, just like the fact that you're often tired after looking out for a baby. Now add that your figure will take time to restore after giving birth, thus this will lead to even more cheating from his side.

    At this point you're stuck between a rock and a hard place: On one hand if you leave, it will be incredibly hard to find another man since now you have a baggage with you (a child, I once explained why men rarely become a good father to a child that is not theirs) and this will result a kid growing up in incomplete.
    On the other hand though if you stay, in case of a daughter she may develop hatred towards men due to father's attitude towards you. In case of a son he's likely to adapt his father's ways of treating women in future.

    I don't even know what to recommend.
    Poor kid, though :|

    • growing up in an incomplete family*

      don't know why I haven't noticed this typo before.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i dont think there is much hope. remember, you have to be a happy mom to raise a happy child :) you dont want your child growing up seeing a guy mistreating a woman all the time right?

  • i counted 5 counts of cheating in about a month, plus a stint in jail. this isn't getting better. cut him loose and make sure you raise your daughter better than his folks raised him.


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