Forever Single: Am I The Problem?

For the past few days I've been constantly bothered by the knowledge that I've never been in a relationship. At all. Nearing the age of 19 I have never had a girlfriend or boyfriend of any kind. No one has ever expressed interest in me. No one has ever made any offers. In addition to this, I still haven't had my first kiss or any offers for one, nor have I ever had sex, needless to say. I feel like something is wrong with me. I've been told that I'm a good/decent looking guy as well as that I have a wonderful personality. My friends are of course telling me that I don't need to worry and that I'm attractive and a sweet/great guy, but I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone based on the evidence. I just don't know what to do at this point. It feels incredibly hopeless to see people younger than me going on dates, kissing, and being in relationships when I've never even had so much as an offer or a hint. My best friend has told me it's a dumb thing to be bothered by and that I shouldn't worry, but I can't help but feel like I'm worth less because of it. My best friends love me, my family loves me, but I've never met someone who had any interest in a relationship. What do you think about this? Is there something I should be concerned about? Am I upset over something stupid? Do I need to post more details about myself? I don't know.. Help?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you just need a little more confidence in yourself. Hate to say it but our messed up society practically dictates that guys be the instigators. As a guy, you can't wait for someone to approach you. You have to show interest in someone else and approach them. Don't wait for offers, get out there and show you like someone. Show you're emotionally available for a relationship by letting go and expressing your attraction to someone else.

    Do you have any crushes? If not, then just wait. You should only get in a relationship with a girl/guy you like in return. Don't just sit around waiting to hop on board with the first person who shows any interest in you. There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone is shy. There are probably people who are crushing on you but who are too shy and unsure if you like them in return to tell you.

    Keep your head up, find someone you like, and ask them out.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm 16 and I used to not have been in any relationship at all or my first kiss either. But the reason for that is because my parents are so so strict that they will never let me meet up with a guy.

    I used to feel just like you. I felt like there was something lacking with me that caused no guy to even take a glance at me despite my friends telling me that "I'm an amazing person". But I realises that it was because I was extremely shy and wouldn't even talk to guys since I was so scared. Are you shy talking to girls or maybe you're displaying signs that causes other people to think you're not interested in them.

    I tried to convince myself that I'm a great person who shouldn't be scared to talk to guys so I decided to be more outgoing and talkative. After that, 2 guys have asked me out so far. I've said no to them since I had to move schools so it was kind of impossible but I don't feel lacking anymore. Although things have changed with me and guys, I still haven't had my first kiss yet...

    But I'm not worrying anymore. I feel like that when it's time to be in a relationship, things will just happen. So don't worry for you either. Trust your friends. Someone will come along in the near future that will make your wait worthwhile.

    Also, have you tried asking anyone out yet?

    Sorry for the extremely loooooong answer - it's coz I found someone to relate to : D

  • I think you need to step up your game, you seem like a really nice guy, just try putting yourself out there more ;)


What Guys Said 3

  • how often do you try? Do you want a relationship because you really want one or do you feel like you just should have had one by now and want one because of that?

    I used to feel I like this, but I found out that I am asexual and aromantic so I guess I did not really play the game right back then.

  • and how old are you?

    • oh I see no man your only 19... no problem its normal.

    • Show All
    • That's good advice as far as girls are concerned. Thanks for that man. Appreciate it.

    • welcome, hit me up if you have more questions, just be simple and courageous... be natural, so if you are naturally nervous that's ok... and maybe cute. don't hide it cause it gets worse. but all this is nothing if you don't actually make a move... so just DO it... good luck

  • I'm having the same problem, except I don't have supportive friends at all.

    • I already answered him, read and learn. your too young tho you shouldn't worry much.

    • Your next comment hadn't loaded yet, my answer to your question was a mere one minute apart from your own correction, read and learn. I agree, I'm only 16 but it still sucks being in this lonely position.

    • I feel for you. It does suck. Will it last forever? I doubt that. You're 16. When I was 16 it was the same story as it is now. Nothing's changed. You're not the only one bud. Making a move isn't easy, and making a move just to be shut down is no better. It's complicated shit man. None of it is easy.