I've been dating a guy I met online for 3 months. On Saturday I "broke up" with him as I didn't get the impression he was putting very much effort into us. While our dates were so much fun, mainly, he would always text for small talk in between and never call. I brought this up a few times, how I would prefer to have convos over the phone (well, Skype since he doesn't have phone minutes), but he generally evaded the question. Finally, I got sick of it after I didn't hear from him for 10 days and he texted me, asking how I was, instead of calling! I said I wasn't looking for a casual or a texting relationship. I was looking for a serious relationship.
I didn't expect him to respond, but he replied that he didn't think I was making an effort, which wasn't exactly motivating for him. We talked it out over e-mail then met for dinner on Sunday. The first thing he said when he sat down though was that he wasn't looking for something serious.
I said I didn't mean something serious tomorrow. I meant I was open to the idea of something developing and I was not expecting it, but not closing it off. He said he was looking for a relationship but didn't say whether he was open to it possibly progressing. Regardless, he later said he really liked me, and we got back together.
Last night, we talked on Skype and he immediately asked me out for the soonest available day. Later in our convo, I asked him to clarify what he thought I meant by "serious relationship" and he mentioned feeling pressured for marriage in the future. (I am waiting for marriage to have sex -- personal and religious decision). I said no! I'm just not ruling out that possibility. I don't have any expectations, He said he didn't see the point in marriage really. So I asked if he thinks that's what I want, then why are we together then! By this time, it was late and we were both tired so we ended the convo.
Now I feel very confused and wonder if we should just break up. Why is he even dating me then?
Most Helpful Guy
You guys are after different things. Did he know before these conversations that you were after something serious, and did you know he wasn't? Did he know you were chaste?
A serious relationship does not make all men run. Some of us want a steady relationship with that one special woman. We do not want to rush into it (notice he felt pressured for marriage!) because we want to make sure you really are the one we want to be with. And yeah, some guys just want to date and not get serious yet, and that's okay too. But both parties need to make their intentions clear!1