How cynical should you be at the beginnings of a relationship?

The guy I've been dating for almost a month now seems like he's really nice and caring, and he seems to like me a good amount, but I can't tell how much of his sweetness is honest and how much is just an effort to get me to sleep with him. I mean don't get me wrong, I would love for him to be my first, but I'm not quite ready for that yet. I would rather make sure that he cares more for me than he does just getting some action first. I don't want to be too cynical about him though, since that would be jerkish, but I also don't want to be too gullible either. So what's a good median between the two?


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  • Never fall into the trap where you feel you have to give a guy sex if you don't want to loose him. Guys are sexually ready much sooner then girls. Have sex when u are ready. Trust me there's lots of guys on this planet he might be your first but definitely not your last! There's so much more to a relationship then sex. Have fun, have a picnic, see a movie, go to a concert get to know the guy and see if he's really what u want. If he introduces you to his parents and family and involve you in family gatherings he's into you he cares. How long have you been dating? How old is he?

    • He's only two years older than me (20, which compared to the 33-year-old guy I dated previously isn't that bad) and we've been dating for almost a month (a week from a full month I believe?). I know he won't be my last either. We aren't even going steady yet, and I don't know if we ever will. Part of me doesn't want to though. I have a bit of a problem with official commitment and I think he might too >_> I'm just kind of at a point where I'm letting life take me where it will and only adjusting myself to the currents when I feel it's needed. I guess with this guy I just want to know that he won't decide he's done with me once we actually do have sex... Assuming he actually will be my first.

    • This can definitely happen men are from Mars woman are from Venus. If you're not willing to take the risk then play it safe. Have sex when you ready. I think you got hurt get over the hurt first. If you don't want him to dump you after sex you are unknowingly craving love and affection. Talk to him give it a go ask him how he feels about sex. As you say girl use your feminine intuition. Mr RIght is always out there. Life is all about taking risks you have lots of time to enjoy life. Go with the flow be brave more then one guy dumped me after sex and I'm married and still in love today.