Do you think it is better to tell a guy how you feel or is it better to say nothing and be friends?

It started out that I was helping this guy in one of my classes. The center who handles disabilities needed someone to take well-written notes so the person could substitute with their own. I started doing that the end of September. As time went on we started studying together for the class, but have also hung out outside of class. By this point we have sorta become friends. After I started talking to him and hanging out I started to develop feelings for him. I haven't acted on them or said anything because I thought being there for him as a friend was enough and I still think that way, but I'm also torn. Lately, maybe this is just friendly behavior, but he has been play fighting with me a lot, poking my face, fist bumping, or knocking into my shoulder. He also told me this guy seemed to be crushing on me in our mutual class and asked if I would date him. I'm not sure if I should take a chance and tell him I like him or approach it in an indirect way or if I should just hide my feelings and keep being friends. I don't want to scare him away or make things weird, but I'm also afraid that I'm going to say something that will show how I feel. Any help would be great!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your relationship has changed the moment you realized you have feelings for him. You can no longer be happy for being just friends. Your choice is either to take the leap and try telling him risking the lost of a friend or not tell him and rely to chance (that is beyond your control) of him hiding the same feeling all the while staying miserable for an unknown length of time (in which another girl might just come and ask him out)

    Not telling has never been and will never be the best option. You have lost a friend but you just don't know it yet. The options that remain are to either try to turn things your way by telling him your feelings (the action itself might move him to realize he feels the same if he doesn't realized it yet, or move him to give you a chance) or stay in the status quo where you find yourself torn.

    I hope that helps.

    • Thanks, that actually helps a lot. I think what I'm going to do is first indirectly see how he feels. For example saying some girl seems interested in him in our mutual class and see how he responds. Depending on what happens with that even if it is nothing, I will maybe try to tell him. You are right with saying that I can no longer be happy with just being friends. I guess I pushed my own feelings aside because I didn't want to make him upset and I also didn't want to face rejection/possibility of losing a friendship. I

    • Great things involve risk. In my opinion, it is better to tell someone I love how I feel and get rejected than to regret not telling and spend my life thinking "what if?"

    • Yeah I agree with you completely. I rather not be stuck with the "what if" feeling. I just have to figure out the best way to tell him.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • You have to work out if you want to risk a friendship.