Why do guys date girls they appear to have no actual interest in?

A friend of mine is dating this girl. He appears to have very little interest in her and they also seem to have nothing in common. His girlfriend is super pretty.
On the other side, me and him have lots in common and we flirt and he stares at me quite a lot.

Why is he with someone he doesn't connect with, rather than someone he does?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Attraction is not a choice, men are drawn to physical qualities and are visual creatures. With you he has chemistry, that works to sustain attraction when the looks fade years down the road. You're thinking like a girl and based on what girls are attracted to it makes sense he should go for you, the logical choice. For him it's primal more than logic with this other girl So go for it and let him know how you feel, or use you natural feminine charms to seduce him, he'd like that.

    • Thank you for your opinion.
      I feel a bit bizarre asking strangers on the Internet for their opinion, but sometimes you need the opinion of someone who can be completely objective.
      I feel like the relationship between us has gotten to a point where one of us needs to say something. He called me stunning last week. He turned up a few days ago as soon as he found out I was hanging out with a male friend.
      Our weird flirty relationship has been going on since march.
      He was in a 7 year relationship until about 2 years ago. He almost proposed. I feel like one if the reasons he just seems to want to have fun with girls is because he wasn't able to when he was younger.
      The whole situation is awkward.
      But when I look at him and our eyes meet I can see a future with him. I know that sounds dumb, but I can genuinely see myself growing old with him and having his children.

    • You're welcome and I would keep an open mind, you are right on many points here, you read him well. Most guys don't fully mature until 32 years of age, some even longer, if he is playing the field, let him have his freedom if it's meant to be he'll step up and take you and gently ravish you against the sands of time, and only have eyes for you as his one and only true love. Your are not dumb or stupid in your beliefs trust you intuition and let it guide you if he's a keeper, you'll know don't let your thoughts cloud your judgment. One trick to keep his interest is to frustrate him, if he leans in to kiss you turn your head and smile or giggle, then get him to chase you the more fun it is for him the more he will be drawn to you, think 5th grade play ground, tease him give him a snack yet lay off giving him the kitchen, if he hungers for you he will seek you out, he won't know what it is about you but he will know he must have you as the others are too easy. Hope this makes sense.. :)

  • You said it. She's a trophy girlfriend. If you're interested in seeing him romantically, you need to tell him. But if that's nlt what he has in mind, that could make things weird for a while. Personally, I would do it. I would not sit by and see the person I want to spend the rest of my life with be with a woman with whom he has no connection. But that's just me.

    • Thank you. That's super helpful.

      Lately he's been even more flirty with me. He called me stunning last week and the other day I had drunk a few drinks and texted him. He responded right away and he was unsure of coming by. I said I was with someone I know (a guy). He then turned up right away.
      Didn't bring his gf. Doesn't like talking about her in front of me.

      I feel that whatever is between us is coming to a head.

    • Seize the moment. This is too important to leave to shyness or waiting for him to make the first move. He will not make the first move because he's in a relationship and If he is a decent guy he will perceive such a move as a creepy thing to do. That is to say asking another woman out while in a relationship with someone else. So you will need to make the first move.

    • Okay.

      Thank you.
      I appreciate you opinion.

      It's like we've been tip toeing around each other for months, but it's coming to a head and I need to do something about it. I think he knows it too.
      He acts jealous and flirty with me. And I can't get him out of my head.

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