Can you grow a romantic spark or am I wasting my time?

Here's some background:

I've been dating this wonderful guy for about three weeks now. We agreed on dating just with each other (not other people) and to take things slow.

Everything is going great. We love each other's company, he treats me great, he's attractive and he feels like someone who I can settle down with. Still, there something missing. He is doubting our "dating-relationship" because he's missing a romantic spark. He doesn't have a feeling like "I can't live without you" or "I miss you so much it's unbearable."
I feel the same way, I feel like we can be happy together and settle down but there just a romantic feeling missing. Still, I have a feeling I'm growing romantic feelings for him, but very slowly. But it feels different: In my past relationships I was very in love, but with him I don't have the "I want to see you now or I'll die"- feeling. Still, I feel like I want to settle down and feel like this spark is overrated and no guarantee the relationship will work…
Since he has a lot of doubts, he thinks it's wrong to date me. He feels like he's using me and doesn't give a 100% because he has so many doubts about this. He also has to adjust, since he's never dated someone before. His last girlfriend was when he was 16-17, now he's in his mid-twenties and he has been single ever since. He has never really dated someone, so this is all new to him…

We really care about each other and we don't want to hurt each other. We have agreed to continue dating, since it has only been three weeks and we wanted to take things slowly….

But I still ask myself: Is this something you can grow into? I have a feeling I just have to give it some time, but I feel very insecure about this… Is this something we could grow into? Or am I just longing for something inevitable?
I'm scared he's going to break up with me because he's missing this crazy-in-love thing. I'm scared he's giving up on something what could be a great relationship…


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Goddammit... you poor G@G'ers! I can't decide who is the worse overthinker in this mess. There are no guarantees miss. We are not mind readers. You can invest years in him and not get anything.

    Your best bet is to invest more time, see if love flourishes or move on. He sounds like a real winner with all his dating experience. You had better make sure he gives you good oral well and is not a queer.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think it can develop but those feelings should be there at the start really...

Loading... ;