My bf basically said I was fat. How should I take this?

My bf basically called me fat last night. He has given hints before. Like when I told him to take the garbage out when he leaves he told me why don't u walk it down instead. Then yesterday we got into an argument and he's like we'll better run to your parents house then. Then I asked if he was calling me fat and he didn't say anything...

I'm 5'6" and weigh 165


Most Helpful Girl

  • I find that if you are a bit overweight right now, he is staying with you and loving you unconditionally. He may have seen you thinner before, I don't know, and with seeing another side to you that he may want to disappear, dear, he is throwing helpful hints without trying to go down a rough road which now apparently has started with War of the Roses.
    Perhaps he is feeling a bit intimidated in Divulging More of this battle of the bulge. He isn't exactly going about it the Right way, but without sitting you down and having a face to face open convo with what he is feeling, this could go down a beaten path.
    Open lines of communication is one of the most important factors in any new or old relationship. Without it, a relationship could go dead in tree water.
    Sit him down and have a serious soul mate talk so you both can kiss and make up and come to some sort of compromise. If you know you are either trying to lose the pounds or Intend to, then tell him so you can put this to bed and not lock horns over this.
    He isn't trying to hurt you, but help you, sweetie. And with what he has let loose from his own two lips, this would give me a huge Incentive to not be Insulted, but more motivated to please yourself, your man and stay like two birds of a feather who stick together, being able to tell one another Anything no matter what kind of a rotten egg it seems to be.
    Good luck. xx

    • I just saw how you have not had to buy new clothes and that he has put on some weight too... maybe you could suggest when you talk like a couple, that you Both exercise and lose some weight together... maybe he feels it could get out of hand but he also has to look to himself that He too should take a good look at himself as well.:)) xx

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Naw you're not fat. SO the real issue here is that he feels you're being bossy and telling him what to do, Next time ask him. Would you take the garbage out hen you leave? Use would rather than can when asking him for things. He's hinting or poking at the thing you feel insecure about as he's having his own insecurities about something of his own. Has anything recently happened that's caused him to act differently or a bit off lately?

    • No but we have been fighting quite a bit lately. Which we both r getting sick of.

    • Not sure why you two hate each other so much, maybe you should break up... However relationships are meant to be a place where each other is to love the other, or am I mistaken? If a relationship is the place where two people get together to abuse each other then you guys are in the right place. You two have to decide what's really going on, the anger and name calling hinting and bickering is a cover for something else. What would you rather be doing loving or hating?

  • ... without weight and height data, we can't really say anything, but it seems like you guys are being passive aggressive and that honestly doesn't solve anything.

  • So are you fat?

  • If you've gained weight since you've met him then maybe start working out. Or humor him and go jogging with him:) If you've always looked the way you look since he's known you then he needs to except it or move on.

    • Hw doesn't run :P but I haven't had to buy new clothes so that's a plus. And he's gained a little weight too. But not like I tell him that.

    • lol. Just let it roll off then. If he really does get mad then call him out and say he's gained weight too. This will upset him and then he will know how you feel and drop the topic.

What Girls Said 3

  • @Mesonfielde is right.

    You didn't actually say how much you weigh and what your height is. For all we know, you ARE fat and in denial, even if you didn't have to buy new clothes in a long time. Many people stay in a size XXL for years without gaining more weight, doesn't mean they're fit.

    Being told you're fat by your S/O is not abuse or "horrible", it's called being honest. So many women bitch about their men not being open and truthful with them, but the second they are - all hell breaks loose.
    Him telling you to shed a few pounds is not going to ruin your life. My boyfriend told me I gained weight and I didn't shit myself over it. I told him he was scrawny and shout probably gain some weight, he didn't shit himself either. Instead we both signed up for gym memberships and have a workout routine. Nobody's precious feelings were hurt.

    You two should be free to express your feelings with each other, instead of doing this passive aggressive shite.

    • I like this girl

    • Show All
    • Apparently so, now that I see the parameters. She should not be more than 152 lbs.

    • @Mesonfielde

      Yep, asker's bf wasn't wrong in hinting at her needing to lose a bit of weight. And he was HINTING at it from the start, not telling her she's fat. After the whole "confrontation", he wasn't the one to use the word "fat" either. So asker KNOWS she's overweight, she just doesn't like when others point it out.

      Highly doubt he meant it in a mean way. My boyfriend wasn't a douche about my weight, so I see no problem. :p

  • Tell him "hey what your saying is hurting my feelings" my ex used to call me fat too but I wasn't (he was just small lol--forreal tho) anyways after I told him that he apologized and said he didn't know his comments would hurt me that much. So give it a try and tell him :) good luck!

  • Are you fat?