How Soon Would You Hope Into A Relationship (men)?

If you met a female that you barely know, how long before you hop in a relationship? Is two (2) months to short to hop in a relationship?

I ask because a guy I've been with for two (2) years hopped into another relationship after only knowing the female for barely two (2) months, but they spend everyday together because they attend the same university. He moved out of state for school, as did she, apparently (from what he told me). Yes, it hurts, and I wish no ill-will toward the new female, but I'm wondering how or if it has the potential to last? This is someone that I'm madly in love with and we've ping-ponged a lot. Distance, when he moved, has taken a toll, but he's supposed to be done with school early next year (March). He says he isn't coming home, but I think he is (we're (me, friends, family) on east coast, he's on west atm). I'm just confused as to how someone I've been with for two (2) years can just hop into a relationship with someone else after EVERYTHING we've been through. We were there for each when our past relationships failed and no, it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns. We argued and had a LOT of tests that tore us apart for maybe a week or two every once in a blue moon... but I don't know what to do..

Obviously, the title should be HOP, not HOPE. Ugh..


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well what is your definition of a relationship? Mine is when a couple are committed together so they aren't actively looking for someone else. I don't think being in a relationship after knowing them for 2 months is too short, but doing other things on the side (touching, sex, kissing, etc.) is too early.

    • That is my definition as well. I just feel like each party will be on their "best behavior" in the beginning after meeting one another that it's almost a facade, in a sense. You don't know their true interior in that short span (again, IMO). That's why I asked this question because men obviously think differently.

      I honestly didn't think anything was wrong with us. When he moved, we "loosened up" (if that makes sense) because the distance would have been too much. However, we both still kept in contact (I did back off because of his schooling) and when I went to visit him, he assured me that he wasn't looking for anyone, just school. Then I find out a few days ago when he came home for the holiday (a ticket that *I* paid for, mind you) that he "became official" with a girl this past weekend after barely knowing her for two (2) months... so, yeah.

    • Show All
    • and I respect your opinion. He said that she was uncomfortable with him coming home because I would be here and he has to show her his loyalty so he has to cut me off completely (along with other people back home). I'm just thinking, well, where was the loyalty to ME? After everything we've been through -- it was one hell of a rollercoaster, mainly because his friends kept interfering. He was sweet and fine up until he told me about her... then he got a bit cruel. He said that I'm "the past" and he has to cut the past so he can move on. He swears he isn't coming home, but as in my original question, I honestly don't see him staying out there (mainly due to money.. he's already running out and he isn't working while out there. He can barely make rent). I'm sure the girl is amazing, but.. it hurts nonetheless. I've never been in this situation, so I don't know what to expect. I just know that I love him to death and I want him to be happy, but I miss him as well..

    • Most people cannot support themselves after graduating college. I'm not saying all of this just to make you feel better, it's just very difficult in this economy to make due when you're 100k+ in debt. I guess only time will prove if you're right or not. Words don't mean anything there is a reason why he is still talking/seeing you. It makes no sense he is dating another girl yet comes home to see you. He can sit here and say "I'm done with you and you're the past," and next week he can say he was all wrong. This happens all the time. It just seems he doesn't know what he wants so if you truly do love him, I wouldn't throw him out of the picture yet. I honestly think he is seeing this girl because he misses you, but doesn't want to say it because it's going to make him look like a jerk to the other girl.

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What Guys Said 1

  • 2 months is 2 short.

    • Thanks. I figured. I DO really want him to be happy because I love him so much, but I thought so too. I figured typically around 6-8mths is when you will be out of the "honeymoon phase" of meeting someone new, so you'll see the REAL them and can determine if you want to be with them..

      I don't know.. I just don't know what to do. I'm crushed.

    • You will do what is best for you.

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