Been on a few with a guy and he keeps talking about lots of other plans he wants to do with me?

He was talking about going abroad with me and to a festival next summer and making loads of other plans for us to hang out. Do you think that this means he is jumping into things too quickly/getting too far ahead of himself or that he just really likes me?
I wasn't sue whether it meant he just wants any girl to do stuff with, cos I don't know him *that* well yet.
I don't know whether I should just go along with it or whether I am right in being catious. I really like him a lot! But I have the sense to know that there are a lot of factors that could cause a relationship not to work out

I guess what I'm asking is... should I be worried that he's already planning ahead/ jumping into stuff or do you think that's normal.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I do the same thing. I'm not a stalker and I don't do any other weird shit. I just like being in the moment. Plus making "plans" helps give me an idea of what kind of stuff you're into. If I make plans for skydiving and you say you're not down that obviously tells me you're less of a thrill-seeker type... so then I have to tone things down a little bit and find other options.

    So, that's all it is really. You can be cautious all you want but that won't help you in the end. There are plenty of detached, aloof guys that are sociopaths and killers... so why are you drawing this connection? There really isn't even a correlation.

    My suggestion is to just see where it goes. If he starts acting weird and possessive then OK, now you know. Stop seeing him. But for all you know he could be this sweet guy. If you're worried about moving too fast then don't have sex with him. Plain and simple.

    • I wasn't drawing the conclusion that he's a stalker/weirdo/sociopath at all. Just that maybe he sees me as some replacement girlfined or something... that he wants *any* girl to do that stuff with rather than me specifically... cos how can he like me that much yet when he doesn't know me? I don't know, it might well be my insecurity talking.
      The other small thing was that he said he would want to know if I was hanging out with other guy friends and who they were. I said well no offence but I'm going to go ahead and hang out with who I want and you'd have to trust me but it's my life. He said oh so you're not the kind of girl that wants to be dominated by a man then? I was sort of like 'well...' because sexually that's what I like but I don't want someone controlling my actual life.
      Went off on a major tangent then but when you said possessive it reminded me.
      Yeah I won't be having sex with him right away.
      Thanks for your answer, let me know if you have any more advice :)

    • I've never tried possessing women or who they hang out with. So that right there shows a difference between me and that guy.

      It sounds like you're approaching this with some reasonable concerns. But as for him not knowing you; maybe he has heard things about you already from friends. Maybe he's been observing you for the last school year although you were only acquaintances. He may know you better than you think is what I'm trying to say. Him moving fast could mean that he's falling for the image of you that he has.

      So yeah, taking it slow isn't a bad thing. Just be yourself and eventually he'll have to come to terms with who you are and what you expect. That's weird of him to ask about domination. Most women I date tend to drop their friends for me lmao. I guess we just attract different people.

    • Yeah. He did say that he wouldn't stop me he would just want to know who I was hanging out with if they were male. So I don't know.
      We actually didn't go to school together or anything, we only knew who each other were a few weeks ago ad that was the first time we had met. Although you're right, perhaps he has found out some stuff about me though the grapevine. I didn't know who he was before I had physicaly met him though. He said he was very very attacted to me from when he first saw me so maybe that's part of it.
      Yeah I guess I will just stand my ground and see what happens. I do really like him so I want it to work out. I don't wanna ruin it by being too reserved but yeah

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