Date your best friend or no?

So, my best friend is a guy and has basically just told me he likes me. He said he didn't want to rush anything and I said ok I understand but I think he took that as (she likes me and shell wait till Im ready) but I really just meant (I understand sometimes people fall for their best friend its natural) I wasn't agreeing to a mutal affection. To be honest I dont know how I feel. Weve been friends for years and he understnands me like no one else does, but I dont know if my feelings are just ( I've known you for a long time and we are really close) feelings or (Im completely in love with you) feelings. I want to know if I should if should at least give him a chance just to see what happens or just stay safe in our friendship. For years now people have been telling us y'all are a cute couple and one day y'all are going to fall in love and get married. Am I just ignoring the truth, when everyone else can see it? or have we let other people trick us into thinking we like each other, and weve grown so close that we think that we SHOULD want more. Basically I dont want to loose him and Im afraid that if we date and it doesn't work out I will loose him but also now that I know how he feels if I teel him I may not feel the same it will just become super awkward and I friendship will be ruined anyway!! HELP PLEASE!


Most Helpful Girl

  • You both have shard this beautiful friendship for years and still counting, sweetie. You have been besties, you have nursed and nurtured it to the point where One of you is Certain of his feelings to go to the next level. However, you on the other hand, are Not sure, not ready to take a giant step forward and Now-----I don't know how I feel.
    Open lines of convo is one of the most important factors in any relationship or even friendship. You both need to sit down and have a serious convo before this goes dead in the water and you possibly lose what you have both worked so hard to get at at the Level you are at right now. Explain to him that you don't want to rush into anything because you are just so overwhelmed by everything and you could get confused and make the wrong move. Tell him you love where you both are at at the moment and you don't want to risk This by making a hasty decision. You also need to tell him not to wear his heart on his sleeve right now. You love and respect your friendship that you have come to know and respect much too much to Ruin anything.
    If he cares enough about you he will have patience and understanding. Go slow with the flow, feel it out, don't over think anything and if it is meant to be for Old Mother Nature to sow more seeds that may mean a ripe ol romance down a Real relationship row, then so be it. For now, he needs to back down, give you room to think, breathe and just let nature take its couple course.
    Of course even being in a relationship as two birds of a feather, nothing is a guarantee if it will stay cozy in a nest or go fly south. Life is a gamble. However, even if you just end up true blue friends till the end, this is what was meant to be in the cards for you both and it would then be his choice, his call how to handle his own feelings with what he is holding in his hand, close to his heart.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to lend a helping hand here..:)) xxoo

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What Guys Said 3

  • well, I'd say if you aren't sure and can't see a turn down, then why not to give it a chance? how lovely it is when ur mate is also ur best friend and the one who understands you the most?
    Just make it clear to him that you aren't very sure whether these feelings are the "best friend" or "life mate" kind of feelings, and that's why you need to take it slowly, so that if it didn't work out you can both back up to where you left before it gets any deeper and you'd lose it all.

    If you think that taking it that way is risky and you want to protect your friendship, then remind yourself that if you deny these feelings, it will be difficult anyways for your friendship to get back where it left... it's risky all the way, so why not give it a chance :)

  • make him read this
    and he will give the answer

  • There is no reason that a friendship should be ruined by dating, if you are both into eachother. Is there really a difference between romantic and platonic, besides the intimacy? No.


What Girls Said 1

  • Definetlly a good idea. Go for it.