How do you take dating/relationships less seriously?

How do you just remove the intense feelings you have for someone and have fun with it? It seems like most people don't like it when you're too attached or too interested in them. I seem to have that problem and it's hard for me to just be cool. I'm great for the first few months and I feel like guys kill it for me by saying how much they like me. Then my guard gets dropped and I return the deep feeling, then it turns them off.

I need some advice!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Regard every relationship you've ever had as practice. Turn the speed switch down. Not everyone will have the same values as you. Someone who genuinely likes you (and is saying so) should never be turned off by you reciprocating those feelings (that you thought they had). Maybe you've just been unlucky dating guys who weren't genuine, and were actually just stringing you along. You can save a lot of time and heartbreak by learning form these mistakes - what was common among all these guys? Why did you feel attracted to them this much? Think about the similarities and use it as a filter (I assume you don't just hook up with the first guy who asks you out). Have fun with it - it always gets easier.

    • It's more like they "say" they like me just as much, or as much as they said they did before I returned the feelings, but their actions tell me they don't. That's when I start getting too serious and let insecurities slip in when I should just relax. It's so hard to think of someone you think of as "the one" as practice, but I'll definitely take your advice. Thank you.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't know. I've always been very serious about my relationships. I have never dated solely for fun. I always have fun dating but the core reason I date is to find a spouse. Heck, even when I was 14 I had that mentality. Sorry I can't be of more help.

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