How to read his signals?

I met a guy online. I'm 27, he's 31. We had 99% match on okcupid and clicked just perfectly. Our first date was perfect. During first week we had 3 dates (all last minute invitations). We had sex on the 3rd date. Then we had our 4th date only after 6 days. It was a sleepover, we stayed at mine, we had a brekafsat together in a cafe and he drove me to my office. Then he said he was sick. I suggested to come over and to bring some meds or whatever he needed. He refused.
He texts every single day. He had his BDay this Tuesday. When I asked what his blans for BDay night, he said "my night is full". Then texted me good night, sweet dreams, kiss you (without any previous response from my side).

Last night he deleted his profile on OKCupid. And, being inspired, that night I asked him if we're goint to see each other, because I'm forgetting how he looks like (joking). He said it's all so sad with us. I asked what does he mean? He said that he's sad that we didn't have a chance to go out and that he wants to see me, but he's got troubles with his time-management and that he's is not very well organised.

I said that seeing each other rarely we can expand our communication (meaning first attemps in knowing each other) for years. He replied - I want it to last for years with you (smiley).

Here's the question. DOES he LIKE me?

He texts every day, and I know that 4 dates in 2 weeks isn't that bad. But I have some concerns that I'm just wasting my time.

However, I go out a lot with my friends, I'm quite busy. And I already asked him to plan our dates, because I won't be sitting and waiting for him. He said that he understands me but it would be difficut for him. I also I accept other guys invitations, because we didn't have an exclusivity talk (kinda too early).

Guys, what do you think?

P. S. Since the beginning he said he's looking for long-term and is ready to settle down and get married.

Sorry for so many typos, guys, I was in rush :)
Here's an update.
He asked about my plans for the weekend. I already had plans for Saturday day, so we went to the cinema. Then he stayed at mine. We agreed to plan our dates at least 1 day before. And yes, he has a lot going on in his life and he's kind ****ed up.
We had an exclusivity talk. He said he really liked me and that he's not looking for someone else (hey, why do I need a profile on okc if I got you and I got no enough time even for you?)


Most Helpful Guy

  • He has a lot going on in his life that he may not feel comfortable sharing with you i suggest
    You give him his space and understand what he is going through.
    These are mixed signals so allow him to compose himself, tell him "when you are ready to see me let me know"
    And yeah the guy probably really likes you.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • He used you for sex. All last minute dates? Oh so he has plans up until that point, but felt like some leg on the side? Sorry, but it's clear you're being used, nothing more than a back-up plan. Move on.

    PS wish I could have had a 99% match with someone on okc, best I got were like high 80s (50-200 Qs).

    • Well, if so this 99% match didn't mean anything :(

    • by the way, we had 600 common answer questions...

    • And - hey. He's quite direct. I asked him to tell me if it's just casual. He says doesn't need only sex from me and that he can get sex from other girls whenever he wants (I knnow, it's true).

  • All I can think of is that he likes you BUT... he has a lot of unfinished business that he feels will interfere with the relationship. I've been in that position where I liked a girl but I totally felt like I had too much baggage and unfinished business, it would have only led to disaster, I had to take care of it first.

    Or... he's bullshitting and lost interest in you.

    • This other option isn't very optimistic tho :(

      Is there any way how can I check it? But not pushing or demanding smth.

    • Time. I'd give him one more week max to see if he makes a move. If not, ask him what's up and how come he hasn't talked to you. He'll probably give you some bullshit lame answer and that's when you know it's time to move on.

    • Thanks much! We'll be patiently waiting for him to ask me out.

  • Looks like a good start. Just don't rush with anything. Ur not exclusive. Unless u want it to be, then tell him. In that case it would be a different situation.

  • Sounds like quite serious from him saying he want to be married later on (strange I would say that not to scare someone) but he can't arrange anything. Mixed signals to be honest.

  • " I want it to last for years with you (smiley).

    Here's the question. DOES he LIKE me? "

    These sort of stupid questions do no favours for your gender.
    OF COURSE he likes you, how the hell do you not get that? It's plainer than 1+1.

    • I'm not stupid at all. Emotional - maybe. And I care about this guy, because I think it can work. But I'm single for 3 years now and it's my first guy 30+, so I'm kinda lost.

      If he likes me why doesn't he manage to plan our dates?

    • Here's a cluestick for you - STOP bringing your assumptions about what a guy will automatically do if he likes you, into the equation.

      He likes you. That's as plain as day. What is not sensible at all, is to start asking yourself "But if he likes me, why isn't he doing THIS arbitrary thing?" because 99% of the time, those two things are not related in any way except in your mind.

What Girls Said 3

  • He is not looking for a relationship or change his life. You two are not exclusive. He wants to date you on occasion, but you need to keep your options open.

    • Thanks much! But he claims that he's looking for a relationship and future wife. He doesn't seem to be a blabla guy. I know guys who say smth they don't really mean.

    • I dont think he is a player... But his okcupid profile may have been more about his ideals and what he wish he could have... Instead of what he can actually offer right now. I myself, like my boyfriend, sex and love and all... but I have school, work, internship and a child. I only have a few hours a week for developing a dating relatioship. That is one reason I have the boyfriend I do, he is equally busy and does not expect more from me.

    • We also discussed each other's plans about next relationship on one of our dates. I don't have a child of course, but I'm also super-busy, however I'm willing to change my plans to spend some time with me. I'm just not sure if I can expect this flexibility from him?
      But that's good that he doesn't seem to be a player. I don't want to get attached to someone who like playing games.

  • Sounds like he likes maybe be patient? & if y'all aren't even exclusive it would have been way too soon for him to invite you to his bday

    • I wasn't expecting any invitation. He said he didn't celebrate it at all. I'm not very pushy and needy, so I didn't ask what he meant by "my night is fully booked" :)

  • Go with your gut

    • ohh.. I'm afraid I'm too emotional. I like him and don't want to push him away by being needy.