I ruined something great that I could have had. How to get past it?

This past summer, I was in an accident that nearly killed me. Next day, I met this girl on Facebook who I wasn't entirely sure if I was attracted to. We had a lot in common; both draw and write (almost same genre, even). Huge intellectual & geek, and didn't do drugs. Now, I had my doubts because I wasn't sure if I was physically attracted to her, she wasn't in school or working (claimed to be working on that), she constantly bashed cops. I had a problem with that because my dad was a cop. So, she posted something, I overreacted, and she apologized on hours end. I stopped replying for a little while, then I told her it didn't offend me, to keep her from feeling bad. After a month of getting to know each other, we hung out. We went to lunch, and later, she admitted she liked me. I felt indecisive, so I told her I wanted to take things slow. I took her for dinner on a Friday night, and she kissed me unexpectedly. She left cash in my car, which I gave back once I found it. I was the first guy to take her out. I felt something holding me back. 2 months go by, we're still talking, she sends hearts (I sent smileys, as stupid as I am), she tags me in a lot of her posts. We were planning on going to FrightFest. Finally, her best (and only real) friend moves and she's depressed. I felt myself catching feelings for her, and after two weeks of not having seen each other (due to school) I finally kissed her. I wanted take things a step further. She kept talking about her mom wanting to meet me. Then, I saw her post something anti-cop. She tried explaining, in my anger, I cancelled a date we had set up. I tried apologizing, but she was hurt. She broke up with me, because it wasn't the 1st time I got like that. She stopped replying, I sent a paragraph, then unfriended her because I thought she wanted nothing to do with me. Then, she texts me bugging out that I shut her out and she still wanted to hang out. I tried explaining, but she kept insisting that I cut her out of my life.

Two weeks later, she starts dating this junkie I went to high school with... I'm guessing he's a rebound. Not in school or working. And he's got a criminal record... I just feel like, I should've reciprocated her feelings sooner. I should've let my guard down. I didn't know what I had, until it was gone. Now, if she gets involved in whatever this scumbag is in, it's gonna be on me... 1) How do I get over this guilt, if she won't even speak to me? 2) How can I move on, and find someone like her?
After she texted me about me cutting her out of my life, she was posting about being depressed, lonely, missing someone who doesn't miss you, missing someone who doesn't want you in their life... I royally fucked up.


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  • Here is your problem... 'I wasn't entirely sure if I was attracted to (her).'

    If you were a goddamn sex addict you would have jumped on the opportunity and not screwed it up and be left holding your dick in your hand. Politics and all that bullshit you mentioned means nothing. Unless the gal is a real, ugly, disgusting wart hog... sex addicts are attracted to EVER goddamn girl. (and even then the ugly warthogs may still be good enuf.)

    Solution = become a sex addict and this will never happen to you again.


    • Charming. Next answer, please.

  • Guess the issue is you have to stop getting so upset about people's opinions if they differ from yours.

    • I know, and I normally don't. I respect everyone's opinion. It's just, I know my dad gets offended by that.

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