Would women consider dating a guy with Aspergers that likes to cuddle?

Hey ladies, I know plenty of you have been asked this question involving men with Aspergers Syndrome. I couldnt help but get curious and have been appauled with some comments I've come across on various sites such as YouTube and yahoo which involves women judging men with aspergers far too harshly. It is true that some male aspies do have a difficult time with intimacy, but I want to point out that not all of them do. I was in a relationship years ago and despite having aspergers I actually enjoyed my experiences with cuddling and even public affection didn't bother me. Unfortunately I suffered a real bad breakup and haven't been able to move on for years due to the constant rejections on dating sites such as match. com and okcupid. com. Its been over 6 years since I've last dated and I would like to get back out there and have a truly nice relationship with someone that would actually like me for me. I feel that the fact that I have this disability will always get in the way and cause women to judge me negatively and felt my only previous relationship worked because I didn't tell her I have it out of fear of being just outright rejected. So please do not sugar coat any opinions, I only want straight forward opinions. Would any of you women consider dating a guy with aspergers syndrome that actually can handle intimacy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just be yourself! That is the best thing. You want to fins someone you are compatible with. For me, I was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 8. I am one of the few females with it. I tell everyone about having aspergers! I think it has given me some of my best qualities and helped mold my personality. All of my bestfriends know I have it and we joke about it a lot. If i don't get the sarcasm they know by my face, Tell me what they mean and we laugh. If you can accept and embrace it others will too! The biggest challenge is being comfy with urself and learning what things u need to compensate for and which u just go with. As for the intimacy thing women like that and no two people with aspergers are the same. It is such an out of the box disorder you cannot compare two people with it. there is just no way. There may be some common qualities but to so many different levels/ variations. If you want u can pm me, I know a lot about aspergers and i enjoy talking about it, i was diagnosed a t a young age and have learned all social/ affective skills to a point where many people dont know i have it unless i tell them. Bottom line embrace who u are!

    • Sure why not? I have come to learn so much about aspergers myself and it did help me learn to cope with it a little better. Plus I resorted to meditation and that really has helped me along the way.

    • Meditation is great! Also u can try to find places/events that u are interested in. I like gaming conventions, comicon, going to my college campus lol. Go where u have interests there will be others with the same and just chat. Chatting can lead to more sometimes

    • I attended an anime convention once in Boston but Im no longer interested in anime. Frankly I dont really have many interests.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Im sure someone out there would.

    Even the oddest people find love
    like these two

    and these two

    these two

    lol this one is my favorite

    • Last one is my favorite too.

    • No offense to any of these people and it's great they have someone, but I don't look like anything like that.

    • when somone truly loves you then it doesn't matter what you look like.

  • Well, the thing is, is that regardless of what condition you may have, you still have to be compatible with the person you're with. If you seek for someone with a high intimacy drive, then you'll run into problems. If you find someone with a low intimacy drive, you may still run into problems.

    For me personally, I'm a firm believer in loving whoever brings you the most joy, regardless of their flaws and trials. So if I happened to meet someone with aspies who I thought was worth being with, it wouldn't stop me.

    • Like you need to be rich, look like chris hemsworth or brad pitt compatability? It seems like to me that despite putting myself out there I dont appear to be everyone else's idea of being compatable.

    • Show All
    • My point is I do put myself out there and noone is giving me a chance which clearly points out that noone really finds me interesting just because Im into that mtv bullcrap and other things people are interested in today. Thats not fair in my opinion, thats what I meant by other people's ideas of being compatable.

    • I would say that's a generalization. I suspect it's likely just lack of compatibility; not every girl out there cares if you like MTV, just like not every girl out there will reject you. Yes, there may be a lot of shallow people... but it doesn't mean everyone is the same. That in itself is unfair to assume.

  • i have dated a guy with Asperger's before and it was great, he was an awesome person!


What Guys Said 3

  • Define handling intimacy? I have Aspergers and like some girls, but I get downright panicky whenever I think about asking a girl out, and have flaked in the past because of how panicky/nervous I got and I'm curious to know if that is because of Aspergers or just normal feelings

    • I've read comments how some guys with aspergers syndrome couldnt handle kissing, hugging, etc. Basically intimacy in general and women seem to judge people like us claiming that they have to do all the work in the relationship sort of speak. Watching the movie "Adam" and other various apsergers related subjects repelled me from dating because it makes it look like its not meant to work out.

    • Hmm, @SteelDragon first off, cool name :D So I think I understand what you mean, I don't know personally if I can handle intimacy yet or not, as I have not been in a relationship, but I know for a fact, everyone deserves to have someone they love, so I believe it can work out, we just have to find the right open-minded people for it. I know I'll find someone like that, eventually, maybe not anytime soon, but eventually, and you will too! :D

    • I hope you find someone.

  • wow this serves as inspiration for me hardcore!

  • I have Aspergers and can handle intimacy just be youreself and find a girl