My girlfriend has brought up us moving to fast, and needed time to think about if we should keep dating or not because of some other reasons, help?

Okay, wed my girlfriend brought up a text telling me i beleive we are moving to fast, she beleives she hasn't prayed enough for the relationship to work, and even that she got into a relationship to fast. well i didn't talk to her wed night, i let her have a bit of a break to think, because she was really depressed sounding like she didn't want to keep dating but didn't wanna hurt me. we didn't talk Thursday at all besides me texting her good morning and have a great day. Friday she actually text me a little and she's not as bad as she was wed, but still depressed. Friday night she checks in on me actually saying this "hey sweetie. just wanted to check in. i feel really bad about putting you through stuff these last couple days. we can talk about it all sometime soon, but not right now. but you're incredible. okay? you need to know that. you feel like one of my best friends and thats super important to me." i have no idea what she's really trying to say there but I've also had the flu since last Saturday night... finally better and might ask if she wants to come hang out Saturday. it was also her birthday that i couldnt come to Tuesday of this week and i still need to make up for that when im able to drive again, hopfully tommrow i can have more strength. but anyways Friday night (tonight) we actually had a decent conversation just about how her day was and stuff. so is she just planning on the right time to end it with me? or is she just trying to make up for telling me this during me being sick with the flu feeling bad? and she actually decided to keep me? i dont really know and would appreciate help asap if anyone has an idea.


Most Helpful Guy

  • When a girl feels things are going too fast, her first instinct is to withdraw. She starts to not trust herself and her feelings. It's good that you didn't react, but you gave her time to think. If you had pushed for an answer or tried to woo her back, it'd have backfired majorly.

    I guess she took a couple of days to sort out her feelings, got pretty stressed and depressed, before deciding that you were still important to her, but in what way, she's not sure. She mentioned friendship, that's a good place to start as any. It means she believes that the time you two had together were real, it was fun, and it meant a lot to her. Romance-wise she's not sure, but maybe she's trying to figure it out slowly now.

    So no, she's not going to end it with you. She just wants to start slow again and try to judge her relationship with you without bringing too much emotion into the picture. Because she doesn't trust her feelings or emotions right now.

    • okay so far i like yours the best, mabye because its what i actually wanna hear, who knows mabye the others are right and I've just wasted my time. because honestly the past month, I've helped paint and put together her new bedroom, helped her dad outside (many... many times..) just recently before i got the flu i helped but together a room for her brother in college. so she knows i like her or i wouldn't of done any of that. this all started after i asked if she wanted to go to kentucky with me to vist family for the holidays. and she was actually excited and got permission and everything, but a week or so later its like she changed her mind and acted like we was going to fast and all these other excuses. i really like her honestly and would like to keep her. even told her that. and now im really keeping texting her to a limit letting her have space. since wed we have mabye had a total of 2hrs of conversation? if that. so she's slowly getting more talkative. i just dont know:/

    • If she's slowly getting more talkative, that is a good sign.
      No you didn't waste your time, underneath your relationship, both of you are still good friends who have history and good memories. She might have withdrawn but as long as you're an important friend to her, she'd never be out of your life I think. She does think you're a special kind of friend, she's just not sure if you are a boyfriend.

      So yeah, do what you're doing now, give her room, be a great friend and a great boyfriend.

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  • "you feel like one of my best friends and thats super important to me."
    This will probably sage-way into the friend zone. She'll say some generic bullshit like "oh, I don't want to lose you as a friend. I see you like a brother"

    At this point I would text her: clearly you have an issue with our relationship right now. Are you trying to tell me you'd rather be just friends? Just tell me straight up without beating around the bush.

    • I agree with you dude. I got a feeling the asker was smothering her too much and was coming on too strong.

  • For whatever reason, she has decided that you are no longer the boyfriend and have been consigned to the gentle letdown (aka slow death) of the friend zone. Note her statement "you feel like one of my best friends".
    Has not prayed enough? WTF? Nobody who is sane says that.
    Move on.

    • probably should of noted she's from a religious family.. i really go to church just to hang out with friends because the pastor is our head football coach. but thanks. tommrow im asking some questions to her

    • If a girl needs to consult Jebus before she goes out with you, run away. . . far away.
      Do you want a life ruled over by conversations she has with her imaginary friend in the sky?

    • thanks for the help, i guess im gonna have a good conversation tommrow.

  • You are going to have to wait and see what happens, Brother. Women are complicated creatures. They are like spyders... But if you like legs ;)

    • haha well not really helpfull but what i figured id have to do honestly. i wish they wasn't but they wouldn't be any fun then. thanks for the comment, im hoping to get a girl reply eventually mabye they can provide more information:)

  • Ooh.. there's not much info here. Did she come out from a break-up?

    • there's really not much to give since this just started, been together for a month so far

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    • Well so did i think that, and a few other guys. buttt me and her had a conversation about this like the first week of us dating. thats when she brought up how could i be a rebound when her and the other guy never dated.. so yeah of course she would say i wasn't even if i really was. but who knows. i guess im just gonna have to wait and see

    • Yeah, I hope you didn't believe her right away. She hasn't dated that guy but her emotional attachment is strong to him.

      You could wait and see. But if I were you, I'd dump her. If a woman is confused, it means it's over. A woman with high interest is never confused.

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