Constant tug …of war on becoming more than friends... why won't he give in?

I have had a long time friend for over 10 years now... but what we have is way more than that, just not sure what to call it. I met him on a blind date and we dated for about a month or so, we were in our early teens then. Not quite sure why we broke up, I'm assuming some stupid teenage reason. Every since then we've had times where we would talk, then years without talking and then meet back up randomly and seems always on my Birthday, our birthdays are a week apart.. We've always been on and off but have had really great chemistry and connection since we were young, and has only grown since we've become adults. It always seems like we are way more than friends, just really complicated? We have even done the talk more than once about remaining friends or going for an actual committed relationship. He is more than willing to talk about it, as we have pretty good communication BUT he seems to always show resistance when it comes to taking a step towards a relationship, we talked and I told him this has been going on for too many years we have to either remain friends or work towards a relationship. He's had kids too during the years. He knows I want a relationship, I called him out on being afraid of commitment. He says I scare him. He feels he will have to choose between me or his kids which I would not ever make him do, but the mother of his last two children he feels she will take them away. I told him he is emotionally unavailable, he says he's trying to open up more to me but I don't know. What is it going to take to get to the next level?

So it's been some months since this situation, and I ended up leaving the friendship because I wasn't happy. He basically stated that he wasn't planning on taking our friendship to the next level. I am now with someone who makes me extremely happy, and treats me like a queen.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's never going to give in. He's just not there and at this point, I don't think he ever will be


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you should continue supporting him and helping him open up to you. I think he like you and is afraid of losing his kids to her ex wife. I think you should tell him that I will take care of your kids as if its my own. It will take time and patience because I think he is afraid of going through another break up. He needs to realize that you are going to leave him.


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