How do I tell this girl I need us to slow down? I don't want to hurt her?

I've been seeing this girl for about a month and a half now and things have been going pretty well. I do like her, but I'm not 100% sure about a relationship and if I like her as that much more than a friend. I told her early on that I was still recovering from a previous relationship so she is aware of that.

We both go to the same school, but live 5 hours apart when not in school. We had been talking about spending time together over break, with me maybe traveling there for a weekend.

However right now I just feel like I need some time to myself and I don't want to meet her parents and stay there if I am not totally sure about her, cuz I think that would just make things worse.

To add to this I planned on talking to her tomorrow, but then tonight she just texted me that she ordered my Christmas present and that she can't wait for me to come visit over semester break and how me visiting will be the best present ever.

I feel like I have to say something, but I don't know the best way to, and I am so afraid I'm going to absolutely crush her. Please any advice you have, I want to do the right thing

Just to quickly add, with regard to not sure if I like her as more than a friend: we have shared physical intimacy, though not sexually as it's been more cuddling and kissing, so I'm afraid maybe I've been leading her on in that way and I do still find her attractive, I'm just not sure about her right now


Most Helpful Girl

  • From a girl's perspective who has a boyfriend, I'd much much rather him be honest and open about needing to slow down. The best way to tell her is just to be honest over the phone or in person if possible! Say you really care about her but still need some time to recover from your past relationship and to figure things out. It may hurt her at first, but it would hurt much more to lead her on when you're not ready. Especially if things were to get even more physical. Hope this helped!!


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