What do men and women bring to a relationship with each other?

Men and women often want different - even oppositional things in a relationship. With all these conflicting desires, how do they actually benefit each other? (Aside from the obvious - sex).


Most Helpful Guy

  • Kids.

    And with good couples, their qualities and short comings usually complements each other nicely, acting as a balancing act. The goal it to make each other better by using teamwork. Add attraction to the mix and I think this is the foundation of a long lasting relationship.

    • Do you think couples learn how to live without what their wants are? Ex: guy wants to relax and be taken care of, chick wants to talk and relate after work.

    • It completely depends on the couple and it's power dynamic. With what I qualify as good one, there are few compromises and the ones they have look seamless. They naturally get what the other wants and they cater to each others needs because they share happiness in that way. In others, one is willing to be selfless and do most the compromises.

    • Don't you think the "selfless" partner is often silently miserable?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • In modern times, I don't think most have much to offer. I believe this is the biggest reason for the high divorce rate. Without gender roles we are stuck taking care of ourselves, and letting the other person fend for themselves. Sex becomes one of the few things of value either could offer, and of course any favor you can trade sex for. Women might avoid the stigma of being a spinster, or crazy cat woman. So that might be something that is important to some women.

    It would be different if we still had gender roles, or were allowed to switch roles completely. The problem is when each person trying to fill the same exact role, it destroys most of the value we would have for a marriage partner. You take care of yourself, I take care of myself. Neither of us can expect anything from one another, besides sex, and if we are lucky friendship. There will be some exceptions such as if one of the people get really sick.

    The cost of being in a relationship is to have to deal with your partners baggage, in any form that might come in, as well as the loss of freedom, and being forced to try and find a compromise on everything.

    Even without your partner the government will step in and help take care of the child with welfare, food stamps, free child care in the form of the public educational system, and a big fat income tax credit every year.

    I am not a fan of gender roles. Men and women shouldn't be forced to do a role they don't want, but expecting your partner to follow the same role as yourself, pretty much destroys the point of having a life partner.

    • What if you're fulfilling the same roles for each other? Is that possible?

    • In some cases. Taking turns with child care. Taking care of the other one when they are sick. If the couple was poor and needed both paychecks then there could be a need, but when a couple gets that desperate the government steps in and offers assistance. Normally they just won't have much to offer each other, and will only get on the other one's nerves.

      I think men and women have a lot to offer each other, but our current standard is unreasonable. Instead of breaking out of gender roles, we are forcing everyone to take on both roles. I don't think that is the right direction. Instead men and women should be able to change gender roles.

      In order to be useful, you need to have two things. A responsibility that is yours, and the power to fulfill that responsibility. In a 50/50 relationship on all issues that means fighting and compromising on everything. This overall is a negative. Both people normally try to take all the power, while pushing more responsibility on the other one.

What Girls Said 1

  • You've already found what most people spend their whole lives searching for..

    As I say all the time.. opposites attract.. You can't have two positives/negatives together (it will get to boring) vice versa if both genders are so very different from each other they are able to Create a cycle of learning experiences from one and another and us human beings are always wanting to learn new different things all the time.. as @Crazyced said yes most of the time our "instincts" make us want to be in a relationship to reproduce.. It's in a nature too..

    • But most rekstionships don't last, as the hormonal honeymoon phase fades away in a few years. Then what?

    • Some relationships don't last.. It will most likely start all over again like a cycle