As being in a prior abusive relationship effected subsequent ones? What happened? Did you find an effective way to deal with it?

I'm seeing someone - both of us in are low 40's, so pretty old for this forum. We have both come out of long abusive (physical, verbal, controlling) relationships. We have a great time together but seem to have trouble getting past the physical barrier - e. g. worked up to hugs. Have you experienced this after coming out of a physcially abusive relationship? Have you found ways to cope? I'd like to move past it, but recognize the challenge even in myself.

*Has being...

Apparently typing skills are one of the first things to go


Most Helpful Girl

  • for me thankfully it was more of. The mental/emotional abuse from a spouse, however I grew up being physically abused by people I loved. It was hard and took a long time. In a way its kind of good you both understand the experience and after emotions. I say take thing slow, in due time you will get more comfortable. Also work on telling your self that they are not the person from the past. You now know the beginning signs and what red flags to look for. There is no problem with being cautious. Both parties need to be understanding. Good luck my heart and prayers go out to you and the lady you are seeing. This will be a hard time, but what a way to build a bond for a strong foundation than growing together and becomeing stronger from the experiences you've had.

    • Thank you for the kind words. Things are definitely going very slow. I'm concerned we're just both afraid to go past where we're at and finding a safe we to move forward will definitely be a interesting challenge. I for one miss the physical contact (even just the simple stuff like hugs, hand holding, cuddling) am hoping we can address it. She's pretty terrific.

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    • I really appreciate your input. It helps to hear other's experiences. Thank you!

    • No problem! I think that is why we are all here :)

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