Is he just not into me? To call or not to call?

I went out on a few dates with a guy I met on an online dating site. We spent hours together, talking, eating, drinking, listening to music and watching movies. We slept together after the 3rd date and he made me breakfast the next morning and even stalled me from leaving. k

I knew he was going out of town for Thanksgiving so I asked to see him again a couple of nights before he left and he said he was too swamped. Ok, understandable. Well, he let me know he arrived safely, texted Happy Thanksgiving, and let me know he made it back. I asked if he wanted to go dancing the weekend he got back and he said he was catching up on work and working late that night and going in to work the next day. I told him never mind and I was going to go out with friends. I have not heard from him since, it has been a week. I am still dating other guys but I really liked this one and he seemed to listen and like me too. Should I leave the situation alone or call him once more? Part of me thinks if he was interested he would have called me by now, the other part feels like reaching out will be a mistake.

  • Leave it alone
    Vote A
  • Call him
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
So I decided I should call but I deleted his # 😝
Annnnd I found the number, back square one. 😖


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok I am in kind of a simlar situation, with not hearing from someone for a week now. You actually did initiate the last few date requests and were turned down with no alternative nights given. It sucks, but I think you and I are both riding the boat of "He's just not that into you." I thought mine was, trust me the sudden ghosting came after a perfectly PERFECT date and I never even suspected it was coming.

    Someone mentioned that it is the curse of online dating, the ease that these guys can slip into your life, get whatever they want/need for as long as they want/need it, then just move on to the next one with a mouse click.

    I am dating others as well, tonight is the first date after he disappeared a week ago. My heart is not in it, but I need to try. You never know if the right one is right around the corner. I made several other dates for this weekend and next week as well.

    I am not giving anything up this time, not my heart, not my soul, or my body until... well, heck if I know when. Seems no matter how long you guard yourself, they will out wait you and hurt you anyway.

    Don't give him the satisfaction of contacting him. I actually deleted all the contact info out of my phone for mine after four days of him not contacting me so I can't call him if I wanted to. Thank goodness, or I might have. Bottom line and one that is so true... if you gave him every indication that you are interested and he isn't calling you, he just isn't into you any more. Who knows why and really... who cares. Mine went out of his way to be sure the last night was perfect, even asked me if I was happy, I guess to be sure it hurt more when he ghosted lol. Actions speak louder than words.

    Repeat after me... NEXT!!!

    • Yes you're right. There is always another option just a click away! The funny thing is the sex wasn't that good; just left me feeling vulnerable. I am not used to being rejected as usually the one to blow a person off. Maybe it's karma lbvs.

      That is a good idea, I'm not reaching out again and going to erase his contact info, I don't want any drunken calls or texts!

    • OMG I swer you're like reading my own thoughts, lol. Yeah, ours wasn't earth shattering and after I had a bit to think on it I realized there were some serious compatibility issues as well. I felt tlike I took CONTROL by deleting his crap. I know as soon as I start having fun he will come back, they always do. ALWAYS. If you hadn't been the last one to initiate the ddate requests, I'd say sure give it a try. But he blew them off, too. NEXT!!! Yeah, I find my ego hurts almost as much as my heart. :P

    • Right, I agree. Well it was good practice and I did enjoy myself; nothing lost, nothing gained. I'm not sleeping with anyone again unless there are reciprocal feelings.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Many of today's toms are sporadic, unpredictable, HaplessHopeless, and Grow cold duck feet whenever feeling scared or cornered And waddle quickly back into the murky waters from which they came from... this goose is no exception to my golden goose rule.
    It appears without it having to be etched in stone here, dear, he was Feeling it was just a bit too cozy for comfort, perhaps also 'Feeling' he was being hooked at the hip and just didn't want to jump feet first into a Real relationship----Nor wanted to be two birds of a feather. He is showing all the sure signs of someone who is now putting you on his pay no list and even as I write this, Not even on his Holiday list to boot.
    Forget him, move on. He never had the guts nor the gall to tell you straight out that he didn't want to hang out together anymore, but would rather leave you hanging by a trying thread to worry and wonder just What-----Part of me thinks.
    Let me tell you what I 'Think...'He most likely does this to Any girl he has a twirl with and when it starts to feel too close for comfort, he flies south... he got what he wanted, he had his fling and when it became more of a Twosome, three strikes----You're out.
    Let this be a little lesson in love in the future. No matter What schmo from Idaho, never wear your heart on your sleeve, nor give in to them unless you Know more where they are coming from And... stand on your guard and Be on guard... don't trust anyone right off the bat.
    Good luck. xx

    • Just saw your Newest Update---Lose his number..."I have his..."xx

  • You should call and see if he wants to go out again.. At least that way you'll know one way or the other... You won't be stuck in limbo of not knowing what's going on..

  • I think contacting him will let you know where you stand. It's been a week since you heard from him so it's not like you'll seem clingy or anything. Just call and see if he contacts you. If not, then I would move on to a guy who makes time for you