How soon is too soon to commit to a relationship?

Obviously there's no one formula that fits every couple or potential couple, but in general how soon is too soon to commit to a relationship?

I had been seeing this woman for just under 2 months, maybe about 7 weeks or so. We'd gone out on about 8 or 9 dates, some just a meal and conversation, others fun activities. Couple of them double dates with her best friend and my best friend who also happen to hit it off. Also probably just as many long 2 or so hour phone conversations. So probably every other day for those 7 weeks we either had a phone conversation or date.

After ~7 weeks I was confident that she was someone I wanted to be exclusive with, and in fact she's the one who brought up the conversation sorta. A female friend asked me to go out with one of her friends in front of this woman I'm seeing, and she later asked me if I went on the date with her and I said no. I joked that there was someone else I really liked. We talked, but in short she said she needed more time.

However after that she was very distant. She claimed to really like me, but she also claimed to be "busy" whenever I asked her out and said she was "afraid to be hurt again". She has had guys cheat on her in the past, and told me about it before, but never used it as an excuse until now.

After about two weeks of her refusing dates, but texting me and occasionally stopping by my apartment impromptu, I got fed up and stopped asking her out and told her I was busy whenever I stopped by. She finally asked what was wrong and I told her I really liked her, but that I wasn't interested in being just friends with her. She shed a few tears, but gave me a long hug goodbye and we haven't spoken in over a week.

I'm guessing things probably won't work out, but I'm just trying to learn from the situation. Was the relationship conversation too soon? Was she too damaged or hung up on her previously relationships? Was she scared? Any Suggestions?


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What Girls Said 1

  • there is no certain point that's best. have a talk and see if she's ready ti commit too.


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