Does 'hooking up' and other stuff help you find an SO faster?

I'm not really calling anyone anything; do what you want, I don't care. However there's a trend and I want to know if it's just me. My lady friends have all been dating this year on various scales. Some have been in relationships varying from six years to two years to five months. Others have been dating and breaking up, with the same person or with different people. A couple of them are just... hooking up. Bottom line, they've gotten some form of action this year. Me? It's probably been about three years since anyone even looked at me. What I find weird though, of these ladies, about half of them had a point where they slept around or cheated or hooked up or went out and made out just before meeting the people they got official with. I don't do any of that. I don't hang out, don't hook up, still a virgin, don't get drunk, haven't been kissed, I don't date unless I'm interested... Literally the squarest person in the world. So is that why I can't get with anyone? Is there actually some good behind the... meh, kinda sketchy things they do? Maybe Im ugly? Something? Because the other friends I have that don't really do any of that have had an rough time too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Different people have different way of doing things. Do what you feel is right, because, at the end of the day, you're going to have to look in the mirror and ask yourself, "do I like who I've become?"

    Tell me, does this affect your self esteem at all?

    • All of the time. It took forever getting over self esteem issues from high school; you know when everyone tells you 'if you don't like yourself...' blah blah blah. Now it's like, for all of that... still no. And now there's nothing I can do because no matter what I try, you know. It's okay though. I'm cool by myself.

    • Let me tell you something, you're going to be dealing with your self esteem for the rest of your life. I know I am (more on this if you want to PM me). When you think you've gotten a handle on one thing, another pops up. It's a constant struggle I face everyday.

      Seriously, just ask yourself, "would I be happier dating or being single.

    • I've been single long enough I can't function any other way. Besides who wouldn't want at least one person that genuinely cares.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I feel ya.

  • To be interested in someone you have to get to know them which is why dating exist
    Dating is not exclusive
    No one is asking you to bump and grind the first man you find physically attractive
    Take a step back and look at your personality. You may be doing something that makes men not want to approach you and not know. I know plenty of virgins who date, you don't have to have sex with anybody so being s virgin in my opinion is no excuse, sorry. Also men have to find you attractive and you have to find the other guy attractive as well. It really is a two way street.

    • *being a virgin