Was I choosen 2nd or does he really want this?

So my boyfriend and I broke up in July because there was possibly some cheating maybe not physical cheating but Im not sure. We have been back together now for about a month 1/2. During that timeto were broken up we never stopped talking but I believe there was something going on between the girl he was talking to while we together. they had a falling out maybe a month before we got back together. Now he is the kind of guy who doesn't have a hard time walking away from things and doesn't take crap from people. Our relationship now is like night and day. Everything has been better then the first time we dated but I can't help but think maybe I was picked second to this other girl after their falling out. We're currently having to do the long distance thing and I don't want to ask about this other girl and start a fight. Am I just being silly about not being his first choice and just be holy that things are good and he's mine now? I mean would guys really come back and put serious effort into a relationship if I wasn't who he originally wanted?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You could have avoided any dilemmas by simply not getting back together with him. Cheating is never excusable - he made his choice so he should face the consequences.
    And yes, you probably are second. Think about it. If he were to really love you he wouldn't have fallen for the that other girl. But since that girl didn't work out he retreated back to plan B.
    If I were you, I'd just forget him and move on. He doesn't deserve you.


What Girls Said 1

  • Well, if you think that he may have been cheating, answer these questions; If you ever asked him about this subject, did he immediately start putting blame on YOU? Around that time, did it seem like he was paying more attention to you, or giving you more affection than normal? Overall, does he seem different than when you were first with him?

    If he has changed almost completely this second time around (by the way, it's a courageous choice to be with this guy again after the whole cheating thing.. I would never be able to trust a guy like that again.. *I was cheated on in my first relationship ever*), especially after there was a fallout between him and this girl who he may have been with, it may be that he has feelings for THIS girl still, but is guilty about hurting you..

    All I can say is to talk to him about this. If he starts becoming really sensitive (and he's not the sensitive type), and starts saying things that would make you appear to be the villain, then you may actually be his second choice.. his rebound.