Could it be she has borderline her behavior is far from normal, I love her a lot but her decissions sometimes make no sense?

SO i had sex with her, she was pregnant from me, had a fail birth, than she talks to me openly about seeing this other guy, who is just a friend who slept over. she didn't hide it from me and told me she didn't do anything with him. Our relationship is purely physical, not because i want it to be but she does, last Friday , Saturday we were very intimate again, not really had sex but close to it. than Sunday i tried to do something nice for her, she overreacted and got angry about nothing. yesterday, i told her can you stop being angry, she told me she wasn't angry. well i went to her place and she was all but nice to me, than i decided to start talking about other stuff, and she cooled off, and we sat on the sofa, she lay on me and we were just chatting, etc.. all good, in the beginning of the evening she said some stuff she knows upsets me, she isn't really my gf, but we like each other a lot. sorry i dont believe in friends with benefits relationships, i dont just have sex with any random girl, and neither does she with guys, but she admits she sees a lot of guys. she rather has guyfriends than girlfriends, but i dont trust those guys. yes she is prone to irresponsible and damaging behavior, when we had sex, she was actually cheating on her bf with me, well her bf back than was an obvious worthless guy, i got the intention she didn't really love him. well obviously she didn't, else she wouldn't cheated. She has mental problems, thats obvious, she is a damaged girl. I think she has borderline, and i really get sad and angry about all these guy friends, some are just utter scummbags, i dont want her to do something stupid, i really like her and care for her, but what do you people think, does she have a personality disorder, she has massive mood swings, her opinion about me changes from day to day, im all good, or all bad ( for no real reason ). no i won't give up on her, she also had a good side to her, what could be wrong with her



Most Helpful Guy

  • She could be borderline or bipolar (they are often misdiagnosed for each other) since the self destructive behaviour, promiscuity, idolizing/hating you...

    You can love and support her but she has to seek professional help if she has a problem. All that you're experiencing now will just grind you down, slowly but surely.

    • she has, January she has her first term with a psychotherepist, when i told her, that i think she has borderline, thats how she acts, she really seemed interested in what i had to tell her. well it is, already taking me down, especially when she was pregnant from me for 7 weeks, i really didn't know what to do, one moment she wanted the child and another moment she didn't, and all i could do wass to help her make the right decission i wanted the child. im happy she is getting help but she also needs to realize that seeing other men regardless if they are just friends or not, that it only leeds to problems. she is a very pretty girl, and guys ofcourse want to be her friends, im like that as well, there is no logic behind that. i do want to help her change, she has dated many douchebags and low lifes, but since she is seeing me, she is actually improving on herself a bit but im not going the right direction, im more agressive and unpatient with others

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    • That's what it will be like. If she wants to be with you, she'll come to you. I'm not really sure if you're ready for this.

    • i am but i just can't accept it that someone is taking credit for my patience and running of with her, i won't let him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Personally, I don't think she has a personality disorder. It seems to me that she's confused in one way or another which possibly brings out mood swings because she is not completely sure of what she's doing. Therefore, stress or confusion builds up and says things that would let those feelings out without having to resort physical violence or such.

    • well that sounds deep, i do think she has borderline, her behavior is far from normall, and even acceptable, last Sunday i did something really sweet and nice for her, buying her, her favorte drink and let someone give it to her, because it was so damn warm in there and she only is allowed to drink coffee there. she got so angry , ingoring me yesterday and saying she wasn't angry but when i talked to her about it yesterday she raised her voice again.

    • Then she has issues. I suggest to go to counselling (possibly both of you at the same time because you obviously need to get this sorted out for the better for the both of you) and listen to GingerBiscuits.

  • She sounds like a bipolar user.
    She is in fact doing other guys, girls give clues and you have caught the clue yet!

    • well why would she openly admit to seeing other guys, wouldn't do that myself, she says she is just friends with him, and her aunt told me nothing is going on between them. personally i dont know what to think, but if she is, i will turn so pissed off, i can't even tell you what im capable off, she actually still being intimate with me, Friday giving me a hand job, dry humping both days, letting me kiss her breasts etc... and she tells me she really wants sex with me again but so far can't take that step. She says im very good at the sex as well, why would she go for someone else than? she better won't be doing that, because if she think i won't get angry, she is very very wrong, im an extremely nasty individual when im angry with someone, i just need the right opportunity to get to you and i will. i love her to death but i will not accept it, that after having a fail birth of our child, others guys ruining this bond with her for me. i might hurt those guys probably.

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    • well im really angry, i talked to her about the miscarriage, and she wanted the child after all, she cried about it, she is going to see a doctor for her mental problems. we talked and i told her i wanted to have a child with her, she agreed, now she tells me she doesn't want a child anywhere soon, her behavior and actions are always chaning and based on her moods. like last Sunday, she was clearly making a fuss out of something nice i did for her, clearly overreacting

    • Ok am gonna tell you to search for and watch a movie. Do this before speaking to her again. Guys just don't get loss the way women do.
      Look for Return to Zero, watch it and absorb it. Then go to counselling with her, don't give her ultimatums or harassment. Be available but don't make her carry your baggage for how you feel about the loss, don't push her to fall pregnant again either just because you think a baby will keep her with you.

What Guys Said 1

  • She's a fucked up in the head no good whore, dude. You better drop her like a hot potato and go find a normal chick before you catch gonorrhea or some shit.

    • please dont call her a whore, you do have a point, and yes im extremely angry about this guy interfearing out of nowhere with her and me, if this a-hole wouldn't be there, i would be exclusive, but this girl will always remain the mother of our unborn child, and for that i can't really hate her, i do notice some things i really dont like, but i can't know. i care about this girl, im willing to type her a letter, were i tell her i hope she will have a great time during her vacation but won't do anything she could regret. seriously, she tells me im good at sex, more than once, im a good guy, why even want others around. normall if people would cheat they won't tell someone is coming over. sometimes i get the feeling she is trying to make me jealous, and there are days she won't write me, or is distant and than out of the blue she wants me over. she tells me she wants sex with me again, 3,5 weeks ago she had the miscarriage from me, so i dont know if thats why we didn't have sex again

    • Quit blaming the guys she cheats on you with. Chances are they didn't even know about you. It's 100% her fault when she cheats on you. Not the man's fault. Not her daddy's fault for molesting her. Not your fault for not paying her enough attention. It is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT her fault. Quit letting her try to shift the blame for her unjustifiably slutty behavior onto other people. This is why women behave the way they do, because no one makes them accountable for their actions.

    • After a miscarriage a woman shouldn't have sex or penetration for about 4 - 6 weeks. She's not a child do not write her a letter attempting to tell her how to be when away from you. Damn you're controlling and I would wager that you're smothering her while she's in the middle of accidentally falling pregnant by being irresponsible with 2 guys.