When on the first date how fast is moving too fast?

I just want to start by saying I hate dating! I am clueless and forever reason just cannot seem to get it right.

So here is the situation,
I work with this girl and have known her for a few months. We have always flirted and got along well and I finally asked her to hang out. We were originally supposed to go out to dinner but instead I made dinner for her and we watched Netflix, which was her idea.

We play wrestled, she wrapped her legs around me when we hugged, we made out, cuddled and when it started to get a little heavy she said, "slow down." I just laughed and started kissing her really slow and said, "is this slow enough for you?" We both laughed but after that I made sure not to try and push things further. We just laid on my bed and cuddled up watching a movie in my room.

Afterwards I walked her to her car, we kissed and she leaves. She texts me about an hour later and said, "thanks for having me over today for lunch it was good ;P" I just replied, "you're welcome. I'm glad that you came over, I enjoyed your company. :)" then she says, "I think you enjoyed it a little too much ;)"

Right away that set up a red flag and I teased it away. We worked together the next day and everything was fine. Then a day later I asked if she wanted to hang out Sunday and she never responded. I already chaulked this up as a loss but I'm perplexed.

How fast is moving too fast? I have read if you fail to make a move fast enough you lose the girl. Then I have read if you are too affectionate with a girl on the first date you will make her think you just want sex and lose her. Sadly, I just read the latter part after the date trying to figure out where I went wrong. Does it make a difference if we knew each other awhile before the first date?

They say rejection hurts less and less the more it happens. Can I be the first to say that's a lie? I have been rejected more times than I can count. Forget all the b/s pua crap. I just want some sound logical advice.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly,
    I do think things moved a little fast (i. e. kissing with legs wrapped around you) she might think you have the wrong idea for her. It would have been better if you would have tried to refrain from that. Yes it doe make a difference that you knew each other. Which means she was probably a little more comfortable around you and that's why it escalated so quickly. Given, everyone knows what "watching netflix" means. You watch the first 15 minutes of the movie at most then you start making out and things move on from there. I wouldn't pursue this further though.


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What Girls Said 1

  • well, personally i think it was a little too fast. I've been out on two dates so far with this guy and i really like him. We have been having a great time, and the night always ends with a long hug and an innocent kiss on the cheek. Perhaps many people might think that's lame, but for me it is the cutest thing ever how he is not just in the "rush" or "want" to make out. the time we have spent together is priceless, and the fact that we haven't even had our first kiss or done things " too fast" makes me want to get to know him more and more. Also when we do get to that point i know it will only be that much more special.


What Guys Said 1

  • Don't give up yet. If she was pissed she would not have reached out to you first and so quickly. Nor would she have made a joke about "too much."

    I think that you reach out to her and just say something simple, but something like "I had a great time the other day, but I do want to apologize for going a bit crazy." and then say something like "i know you were busy on Sunday, but would one night this week work?"

    ANyway... use your own words, but it is worth trying one more time.

    • I did what you said and she said? "Apology accepted , I was a bit confused to be honest." I asked her what exactly confused her and she never responded. So much for an accepted apology lmfao

    • well she probably was confused about going a little too fast. Anyway... it is in her court now, and see what she does. And next time just move a little slow. Relationships are investments... think long term. I hope it works out...