How to get my ex attracted and willing to chase me?

I casually dated a guy a few months ago but I made the mistake of showing him too early that I was really into him, by "chasing him", initiating contact, sleeping with him too soon... As a result he got scared and said he wasn't sure he wanted to commit, and finally it ended.
I met up recently with him and he wants to see me again so I think I may have a second chance to attract him, but how can I do to make him chase me? to appear valuable and not "needy" as before?

thanks for your comments!

To give a bit more details, when we met he told me he wanted to leave his job (he does crazy hours and that was also a reason why he ended things with me), cause he had not time to think etc... and in the end he told me look I know I've acted like shit (don't know if he was referring to the break-up or the fact that it had been very complicated to meet because of his work...) and asked me to let him know when I came back (I left for holidays) so we can meet again...
Because of my past behaviour I'm concerned he may just want sex, so that's why I really want to show him I'm valuable and won't come back just like that! The thing is that usually I never act "needy" with a guy, but the circunstances back then were very particular, so should I explain this to him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Great, another power struggle..
    look, you did what you wanted, you took the initiative. That is fuckin awesome. probably the reason why he is coming back. so why don't you just flow with it? be yourself... if you want to jump his bones in the lobby bathroom rather than go upstairs, then just drag him there and do it. He obviously came back because other girls refuse to be as forward as you were... not straight to the point... and that is what you seem to want to do. really?
    He won't chase you. The moment you start acting contrary to what you are like, he's gonna be getting the receptionist's number and trying to get away from you. This has nothing to do with needy... needy is you wanting him to chase YOU.

    • That's great to see a guy think this way! But it seems the majority needs to chase a girl in order to feel attracted, when the girl initiates things too much it's a turn off for a guy...

    • We already have too much stress on us to have to do stuff. I always encourage girls to step up and do something... and discourage stepping down (what you want to do). The guys that tend to be turned off by a girl that wants to do what she wants, they are just egotistical control-freaks. not a good match in any way. oh by the way.."needs to chase a girl in order to feel attracted..." not true... its just the thrill off the hunt. They aren't attracted. believe me.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well he knows you like him so I don't think he is going to chase you. Just try to move at his pace. Let him dictate at first when you hang out, call and text.

    • Well, technically I have to make the next move because he asked me to tell him when I come back from my holidays, so should I do it or wait for him to call?

    • You text him that your back and whenever he wants to hang out for him to let you know

    • the thing is after I come back I have to leave soon for another month... so I was thinking maybe it will be more powerful to not get in touch (and if he really wants to see me he can ask me if I'm back...), and contact him only when I come back after this other month away... would it be too long?

  • First don't get TOO needy. Lead him on but then back off. Teasing is good but not too much! Second look hot lol


What Girls Said 1

  • How about don't play games? You don't need to make someone chase you. No one needs to be chasing anyone in a relationship. If you are two are still interested in each other, just take it slow this time. Also communication is the key in any relationship, so yes you should talk to him about everything. If your trying to give this relationship a second chance just be open and honest with each other. You shouldn't feel insecure in a relationship.

    • I agree, but it seems that guy are only attracted to you if they have to chase you, which means being the one who initiate contacts, who ask you out etc... I don't want to play hard to get or whatever but I'd just like to make him see that I'm not at his feet as he thought I was before and that I'm valuable for more than just casual sex...

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