Why won't he ask me out/call?

I got a divorce last year so just back on the market and a coworker I have known for years and I have been flirting for a while now. Almost a week ago I ended up in the major city where he lives (I live across the bridge in the less cool area) and I asked if he wanted to hang out at the last minute. We went to lunch and then ended up spending several hours together having a good time. He was very sweet and gentlemanly, ie held me crossing the street, opened doors, wanted to pay for everything, etc. he talked about the next time I come he wants to take me here and there. It seemed everything was great, but after that he didn't call or text much, just a few texts that night then a request for something work related by email, then nothing. We work together once a week or less and just saw each other again. We flirted a bit and he talked about a restaurant he wanted to take me to. But... Then he doesn't actually make plans. It's true that I have a kid and am busier so I'm not sure if he's waiting for me to announce I'm going to the city again or if he's not really interested beyond hanging out occasionally as friends? Also not sure whether it has been helping or hurting that he knows I get a lot of guy attention because we talk about dating cause I recently got back into it and other coworkers keep bringing up people who like me in front of him. I've been trying to show interest without throwing myself at him so I'm not sure whether to announce the next time I'm in the city or just wait for him to ask me?

So how do you know if you are reading the tea leaves wrongly? In my profession coworkers date all the time and we don't work in the same office too often so it's not a big deal. Worth being cautious of course, but not as serious as it might be in other jobs


Most Helpful Guy

  • Could be a few things, he could just be being gentle-menly and friendly. Also he could really like you and just have reservations. You guys work together and that can be a huge risk. Also you have been friends a long time and that makes jumping into a relationship even scarier. Oh and there is reason 3 he doesn't realize you are interested. I have had plenty of females who I went out with did all that stuff and cuddled but we were just friends in their eyes. I would say ask him out, why not? Just ask him out and then on the date have a very serious conversation about seeing him again. Make plans and set dates. Also maybe flirt a little harder then normal on the date, especially with physical contact.


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What Guys Said 2

  • dating a co-worker can be difficult at best. You have to decide do you want to take a risk here.. Normally i would say "Just ask him out." But in this case, you need to be careful that you are not reading the tea leaves wrongly and make things awkward. It seems he does like you and is perhaps thinking the same thing "I work with her. Should I be..."

  • You almost need to throw yourself at him, or ask him when he will take you to that restaurant he told you about.


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