Why does the idea of sex scare me?

The guy I'm with, I've known for about a month and half now wants to start getting physical. He knows I am a virgin so I asked to take things very slow and he's okay with that. The other night he put my hand on his genitals, because he said he wanted to prepare me for what's to come and he wanted to ease me into it. I was a bit uncomfortable at the action but I let him know. I don't want to be pressure and pushed into what I don't want to do but I feel like he's not getting it. He tells me I'm not affectionate when I refuse to touch him the way he wants. We kiss, cuddle, give back massages... little things. He constantly asks what I like, I tell him the neck kisses and he responds with, just wait till you experience my stomach kisses. I do think about his hands on my body and his lips on mine. I just haven't thought about having sex with him at all. I know there is no reason to rush into it, there is plenty of time.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him you'll touchb him when you're ready.

    He's not listening and he's using wanting you to feel good as an excuse to push yiu into doing things he wants.

    Yes it's good to ease into things but doing things with your hands that you're not ready for is not easing into things.

    in my opinion you easing into things should be done at your pace not his.

    I understand he's anxious for things but you're anxious for patience and he's putting his ease above yours.

    I think he's in denial about rushing you. Some people will disagree but I think it's going to back fire if you're rushed also the act of him rushing you can have really negative impact on yiur ability to trust.

    The more comfirtabke you are in the beginning the better the outcome later. I'd rather invest more patience early on then face a lot of problems later.

    Anyhow you require more patience and respect. He can handle it or he can't. You tell him what you want you dont ask if it's ok.

    Look out for yourself with him snd anyone else.

    Resoect your feelings they are there for a reason. Be open to things but don't be pushed. There's a big difference between being nervous and feeling violated coerced manipulated or emotionally black mailed.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It's something different and something new. Tell him again you do not want to be rushed or pressured at all. Take your time.

  • Because most human beings are naturally afraid of new things and experiences they have not had. It passes, but you have to -make- it pass.


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