Are these signs of a manipulative controlling man?

He does this thing where when we're in public (say like waiting in line for something) he sort of pushes me forward with his chest. He's several inches taller than me so in order for him to do that he stands directly behind me.

Once he told me that I'd have to eat lettuce (after telling him I hate lettuce) or else he'd force me to eat it. He was very serious with a serious expression on his face. He even told me was was serious. That he'd "beat my ass" if I didn't.

Also he takes on this tone sometimes like he's trying to "dominate" me. Like if I tell him not to tell me what to do he'll repeat himself with a hint of aggression until I do it. Kind of like he's half joking but serious.

He's told me that I don't satisfy him sexually despite nearly every time we have sex he c*ms... WTF?

He said that I should be willing to do what he asks with no questions ask and vice - versa (him doing the same with me) but I get the feeling he's only saying that to make me do what he wants.

He says that we should be completely open and honest with each other. But told me that I don't pay his phone bill when I asked about a particular woman that texted his phone.

He claims I'm insecure when I'm not.

He says I don't invest as much effort as he does despite working two jobs I still make time for him.

I bought him a really great Christmas gift that he uses everyday since I gave it to him... yet I don't invest effort into the relationship...

Are these signs of a controlling/manipulative man?


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What Guys Said 2

  • It is controlling but it is an abusive relationship, mentally. He might have done something with someone else I don't know. But he knows whatever he has done, he has lost the safe ground he had on you. Fearing you may walk out on him and leave him. The only way to stop this from happening is manipulate you into thinking you're the problem. So you try your hardest to please him, it doesn't cut it. Subconsciously you want to try harder to please him whilst he is toying with you. Like I said he is trying to make you feel like you're the problem, meaning he can get away with pretty much anything. If you don't want this treatment anymore and if you are unhappy and don't want to be with him, challenge him about the text message. Give him something to answer for with one chance if he doesn't cut it you say goodbye to him. As hard as that sounds because you probably have strong feelings of love for this guy, you've met a crossroads your happiness or his happiness. The crossroads might be that if he is happy you are happy and he could be the love of your life I don't know.

    All I'll say is this. You have a chance to reflect on what has gone on how he has acted and how it made you feel. Once you have done that only then will you know if you wish to allow this to continue or not and he has to listen to what you are saying otherwise he might as well not be there.

    Hope this helps good luck

    • We almost broke up last night. He said that I miss understood what he was trying to say so he was about to break up with me. He wants me to apologize to him about the whole thing. He's turned it around and made me to be the bad guy. He does no wrong. Why am I putting up with this?

  • Leave! For God's sake save yourself! You're gonna get even more hurt. This guy is definitely trying to manipulate you

    • How? I really care about him. He was so sweet in the beginning. Now he's become someone other than I met. He barely talks to me when we're alone. We drove to Louisiana for Christmas and the majority of the ride I did most of the talking I had to push him to talk to me. ... This was a 6 hour drive mind you... I just don't know. I live him but I can't ever seem to make him happy. There's always something I did or said wrong. It's starting to stress me out.

    • This guy is changing for the worst, that is a horrible sign. Many girls get severely hurt over "he used to be a nice guy but now he's changed but i still love him" ordeal. Please take care of yourself

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