Is this a RED FLAG in my relationship?

When we first started dating we would text often and then it turned into daily phone calls... then it became every other day calls and the occasional text. Now it is twice a week phone calls, maybe three and rare texting. I see him about once every week depending on our schedules.
When we are together it is great! I am just nervous this is a RED FLAG. Even if I send a Good Morning text, he doesn't respond but usually will call me later that day.

Red Flag or no?

  • Red Flag
    Vote A
  • Not a Red Flag
    Vote B
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I understand the poll is "easier" to do but if you can give reasons to your opinion, that'd be great.


Most Helpful Guy

  • My girlfriend & I. just had. this conversation last week. She. was worried as much as you. I certainly can't speak. for your boyfriend, but in my case I work ALL THE TIME. My work is important to me. And my time is divided appropriately. In the beginning of our relationship, I rearranged a couple of priorities so that I could spend more of my time with her. But, eventually, the tasks I put off required my attention. So the communication & time together wasn't as much, but was certainly not because my feelings for her changed.

    Despite my admitted social awkwardness, I value her above nearly all others. And it's never my intention to lead her to believe I would ignore her, or that I don't care. I do, very much. It bothered me she would think I didn't want her around as much. We found a way to get through. Now, with a lot of the excitement passed, we see each other everyday. She's happy, & so am I.

    Talk to him. There's a good chance he doesn't know this is how you feel.

    • How long have you two been together? I am fine seeing him once a week, I just want reassurance that he is in the relationship just as I am before I give him my heart and let that guard down.

    • She's been one of my oldest friends, since Pre-K, but officially we've been together for a couple months.

      Talk to him. Whether there's something wrong or not, you deserve to talk to him when you're troubled, & it's his "job" as your man to listen & help any way he can. Either way, you're peace of mind rest with him, on this.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • It's not a red flag.
    The honeymoon phase is like a wild fire burning down a forest.

    This wild fire has now turned into a safety campfire.

    He feels close enough to you that he doesn't need to reply back to you ASAP or talk as much.

    There's also the possibility that he's out of material to talk about. For instance, even why my girl friends text me, I have to do most of the talking and sometimes I got nothing. And to avid a crappy conversartion, I just don't bother to text as much.

    You seem to out a lot of value on texting, but what about skyping at night instead? It's better than texting and calling.

    • I don't need text conversations... I just want to be acknowledge. If I text you a question or say good morning and that I hope you have a good day, I would appreciate a good morning text back and acknowledgment. If that makes sense. He is on my mind, I let him know. I text him maybe once a day.

    • Well in that case, that's him being lazy.
      Is he aware that it bothers you?

    • I don't know. I am going to bring it up in time.. just being patient. Hoping the spark comes back around.

  • no... maybe he's busy, or the spark or "honeymoon" has gone, doesn't mean anything more than that..

    • Any suggestions for me to keep that spark alive? You are about his age. Or just let the honeymoon phase fade?

  • He's not interested.

    • Then why would he not just break up with me and still say he looks forward to seeing me?

    • Show All
    • After... now.
      We will have plans to see each other and he will call me the night before or a few nights before to talk and it will end with, I look forward to seeing you.

      Or in our last conversation I said something that wasn't true to which he corrected me and said that it was okay, I make up for it in cuteness.

    • Then he either doesn't have time or he's playing with you.

  • You should talk to him about it. It's not unreasonable to expect your partner to reply or call back the same day.

    • Any suggestions for me to keep that spark alive? You are about his age. Or just let the honeymoon phase fade?

    • I will talk to him though.

    • You BOTH should be working on keeping the spark alive - keeping things interesting, going to new places, trying out new things, being adventurous in bed, doing little things and surprises for each other etc. You need to clearly communicate to him that you need more in the attention department, but the communication shouldn't be about criticizing and blaming him or making him feel like he's lacking (nagging and stuff is not a good idea) but more about saying how good it would make you feel if he was more present in your life (maybe he has no idea about how you feel) and generally praising the behavior you like. I've learned that you should never take the other person for granted and that you should always make an effort. Being comfortable with each other and not in the honeymoon phase does not mean you shouldn't always strive to make your partner feel special and desired. I'm not big on texting and I don't always reply on time, but I make sure my girl feels loved and cared for.

What Girls Said 4

  • It's not really a red flag.
    But if this bothers you definitely mention it to time.
    Tell him you would like more regular contact with him.

    Keep it fun !
    Possibly Skype together if you can.
    Texting sometimes is a bit impersonal and can get old.

    • time = him. (Correction )

    • You know just a response would be nice and make me happy... like, "Good morning to you too. I hope you have a good day. I will call you later."

      I would be happy with just that.

  • You're simply over the honeymoon period and he probably doesn't feel the need to keep in constant contact with you anymore. There's nothing wrong with that, especially since it's still great when you meet up face to face.

    • I can understand that. Out of respect though I just feel like someone should acknowledge your text or call... sometimes he doesn't contact me back till the next day but is active on social media or I see he read my message. You know what I mean?

    • Then tell him that it's annoying and that you'd appreciate a reply. If you don't tell him that you're unhappy over the fact that he doesn't reply, he most likely won't notice it. He's just probably taking these small texts for granted, thinking "I'm going to call her later anyway so there's no need to reply right now".

  • Its not a red flag

  • Things are turning for the worst, if you feel something is wrong then you need to tell him how you feel and ask whats going on, do this in person before things get worse.