I'm terrified of adultary. Can anyone help me stop this fear?

I don't know why I feel like this. I've never been in a relationship before. For some reason, I have always had this fear of being cheated on. Or me like, walking in on it- seeing it with any girl I might be with. This isn't specific to a person. I just for some reason have the fear that anyone I might be with in the broad sense might cheat on me. Although the "mental imagery/imagination" if you will can and has been specific.

For instance, I am in love with a girl, and she likes me. I've known her for a year now. She is perfect in every sense of the word to me. I mean, I truly feel as if I could marry this girl. And after much difficulty, her and I finally have permission to date from her parents (after they disapproved before). We went on a date, and have another set up for later this week.

I know I should have trust and all that into someone I'm with, and that is right. I trust her. But it is always in the back of my mind. Like, if I finally meet that girl who I will marry (if this is her), I'm scared of the marriage (or if we get that far) being ruined because of her cheating on me. (Or hell, even her breaking up with me, leaving me alone)

I don't get why I'm like this. It's not like I've been around a lot of instances of adultery. My parents are happily married for 20+ years. Thinking about it, I don't think I have *ever* been around a scenario of adultery. So I shouldn't have these (what I assume are) trust issues, right? But for some bizarre reason, I have this fear. Again, it's not that these fears are always active in my mind, but it's more in the way back of my mind, if that makes sense. Is there any way to move past this very minor imagery/fear? I don't understand why I am like this. Is this normal? Either the adultary fear or the breaking up fear?

Any help/advice is greatly appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I won't lie to you. It can happen.
    And everyone is afraid of being cheated on. We just can't allow ourselves to overthink it.
    Just remember not all girls are cheaters.

    • I know. I just hope that she isn't. She's the sweetest girl I've ever met. But the thought of that happening... it makes me feel almost sick. I just see these things on here, or websites all over saying like "My s. o. cheated". or "I found out they were" or things of that nature. And it freaks me out...

    • It is scary. But if you believe she is sweet and nice, and that she is worthy of you, don't allow the fear to destroy your relationship. Trust is really important. I broke up with a boyfriend once because he was always paranoid. He was afraid I would cheat on him. That destroyed the relationship.

    • Indeed it is. No, don't worry. I won't let that jealousy/paranoia show. I do trust her. But that fear is still prevalent. It's not specific to one person. It's any and all potential girlfriends. But I do trust her. I'll just try to like repress this. I won't let it destroy a relationship with her; I've worked too damn hard to get here and maybe have this happen with her hahaha.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Not everybody is a cheater


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