Do you value confident men, and if so why is that? Just looking for women that have looked into themselves and asked why they value confidence ?

Hi ladies. I am looking for a females perspective on this. If you do value confidence in a man, why is that? How does if make you feel when u meet a confident man compared to one who isn't?


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Too many reasons. I may not speak for all women but here's my 2 cents coming from someone who had dated both horribly unconfident and extremely confident men.

    Confident men have a positive outlook on their future. In a relationship this means that he will be positive about OUR future and any obstacles that come in the way. Being with a confident man makes me feel secure.

    Confident men are generally satisfied with their own lives when they are single. In a relationship he is more likely to share his happiness and less likely to be jealous or clingy. As a girlfriend this makes me more expressive and giving.

    Confident men are open and comfortable with their emotions. They are able to healthily express emotional vulnerabilities rather than bottling up resentment and lies. This is so important in a healthy, human connection. Confident men/women will admit their mistakes and call out your wrongdoings, whereas unconfident men/women tend resort to manipulation, drama, and acting like a little bitch.

    Confident men make more attentive partners, because they are not busy overanalyzing and doubting themselves. Being with one makes me feel more valued and understood, and I value and try to understand him more in return.

    Confidence brings thrill to sex. If a man is not sexually confident and is too focused on his 'performance' even when I am not, it's hard to have hot, banging sex where you completely lose yourself in the experience. Afterwards, sexually confident men make me say "Wow, that was hot, when can we do this again?" rather than thinking to myself "did he even enjoy this?" Because he was too caught up with his head than having actual sex with his body. No fun!

    • I feel you hit a lot of interesting areas here and tied some of my stray thoughts on this together.. thank you for your honesty! Have you experienced being in a relationship during someone's transitional phase; going from being unconfident to confident, or vice versa? if so what was that like? or have the people you dated either started confident/notconfident and stayed that way?

    • I've dated men who are in between. But no, there wasn't a case where the man transitioned from being in unconfident to confident. My relationship with unconfident men usually falls apart quickly. Not to imply that I don't stick around when things get rough in my man's life.

      I think there's some distinction to be made when it comes to people's source of unconfidence. When the partner is unconfident due to deeply rooted issues long before I came along (ie. Exes, abusive childhood), that's a huge red flag to stay away and let the guy fight his own demons because he's not ready to make someone else his priority. But if say we were dating and something traumatic caught him off-guard, I would definitely stick around and help him get through it. It happened before with my ex. I knew that this wasn't his usual, confident self and I needed to give more to the relationship because I trusted him and our future together. Needless to say he's doing very well for himself now.

What Guys Said 1

  • Interesting question. I'll pay attention to the female opinions.