Girls, when you're dating a guy how long is before you want sex?

I don't want to bring up to early and have her think that's all I'm after, but obviously I don't want to wait too long to try for it either. I haven't had much experience dating so I don't really no when I should start trying for it.

When do girls expect guys to try for sex? (Regardless of if they want it or not, girls presumably expect the guy to bring it up at some point.)
It'd be good to get an opinion from a girl not waiting for marriage...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd want it within a few months AND after being exclusive, though as long as he can take a no I wouldn't mind if he brings it up after a few weeks

    • So you'd actually want him to bring up after a few months then?

      You first person who hasn't just said until marriage...

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    • I don't get what you're asking?

    • I meant to write: "Do you have an idea of how long most girls would expect a guy to wait before bringing it up?" What I mean is early in a relationship do you think most girls would be okay with a guy asking about that early on, or within a few months. I guess you might not know what others feel.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • When you're married, of course :)

    • I mean for the majority who interested in sex before marriage.

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    • Almost true. Is that meant to sound profound?

    • I just don't believe in sex before marriage. Sorry for any confusion @Iron_man

  • Sadly despite my being conservative EVERY man I've gone out on a date with has expected that I'd sleep with him that night - and if not then by the 3rd date - wtf?
    Anyway I've never allowed that and most men disappear rather fast.
    My current bf also expected (because of his prior history) the same thing but in his defence at least we had an explosive chemistry...
    Anyway, he asks me daily and I think it's sweet and I appreciate that he's still around (surprising to me) but he's mellowed out and we still haven't had sex.
    There was a time when I wanted to wait till marriage - part of me still does... BUT I'll be okay if I know that he truly loves me and I fully trust him... I don't know how long that would take though...
    We've been together just a few months...

    • He asks you for sex daily even though he knows you don't want it?

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    • And well I want it... But when I feel comfortable

    • Oh okay. Thanks for answering.

  • My boyfriend mentioned the possibility of sex about 6 months into our relationship. He'd joked about it before, of course, but he actually sat me down and brought it up about 6 months in.

    I then reminded him of my decision to wait until marriage and that I would appreciate it if he would respect that choice. I made it clear to him that my choosing to abstain did not mean that I did not desire to sleep with him. It took him a bit to understand that part.

    We're 3 years in and he tried for it once and I genuinely almost dumped him on the spot. I would have, too, if he hadn't immediately apologized and begged forgiveness and mostly started talking so fast and for so long that I couldn't get a word in edgewise. His logic was apparently that since we know we're going to get married that it wouldn't be such a big deal. But he was very much wrong.

    We don't talk about it now because it's still a major sore spot in our relationship. If I think about it too much I get very upset and depressed.

    But I hear I am not the norm. So by all means, feel free to ignore me.

    Just be cautious and make sure you know the type of girl you're dealing with. If you try for it with someone like me... it could be disastrous. If you don't try for it with a different kind of girl it could be disastrous.

    • Are the two of you planning on getting married?

    • Yes we are. We have rings picked out. We've planned a life together. We just haven't gotten married as we are waiting for college graduation.


    • Okay, 3 years seems like quite a while. Anyway good for you if you're both happy.

  • I wait till marriage for sex.

    • Would you expect a guy to try for it before then?

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    • Would you be happier if he didn't even ask before marriage?

    • No. I'd expect it. I just would say no, we'd talk and all I'd want him to say okay, I'll wait.

What Guys Said 1

  • The worst type of guys are those who approach girls with the intent to get in their pants. You don't try to get sex. It's not your main objective, or an objective at all when you look for a girlfriend. You know she's right for you when you can't imagine you two having sex because you respect her more as a person than an object.

    • "You know she's right for you when you can't imagine you two having sex"

      I want a sexual relationship.

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    • You think women between 18-24 want to wait 6 months to a year before having sex? (Obviously some would, but I mean on average.)

    • On average most girls have self-respect and won't have sex until they know a person very well, which takes around 6 months. Some girls are more loose, some are more strict.

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